Tag: self

I am releasing the warrior

Posted on by philipdodson

I am me and no one else is me. I am uniquely me. The only me has wanted to be me and show that ‘me’ to the world all my life. Well, I am not there yet, however, I believe I am me now and that is the reality for me. We always create and manifest our reality by what we feel and believe.

I have decided that it is time to be fucking ‘me’ and stop the exhausting process of stopping ‘me’ from being seen.

Why have I done that? Fear. The mind has dominated and is fear based unlike the real me which is love based from my heart. That is what is dominating now.

I have been fearful of offending others, fearful that no one will like the real me, fearful of being alone, fearful of not being loved, fearful of judgement, fearful of being told off, and fearful of the consequences…fearful of everything.

I am 55 and I am still fearful of being me, of speaking my truth, of worrying about others and I have had enough. It is fucking exhausting and is preventing the world from seeing my true soul and more importantly from me being me and all the joy and freedom that will give me.

My true essence, like all human souls, is love and when I show that and speak that from my heart the real me will be visible to the world. I am a warrior, a person who accepts what is but is not passive. Surrendering to what is and accepting all that is allows us peace within but we do not have to be passive and apathetic. We do not have to be a doormat and we do not have to be what others want us to be. That does not mean we have to be aggressive or confrontational either, we just have to be our true selves. When we are at peace within we can speak from the heart and we do not have to fear anything anymore.

I want to get off the fucking bus and stop going along with the crowd as that is what is fucking easy and comfortable. I am not a warrior in the normal sense of what we have been told to understand. I am not looking to go out and kill and be aggressive. I am looking to love, nurture, bring together, unite and protect what matters…to speak up without fear. I am looking to share my gift. I am choosing to be proud of being who I am, of being a man, of being a loving human. I want to be seen and understood for who I truly am and I want to see and understand others as they truly are.

I am the warrior who is brave enough to be vulnerable and to be brave enough to speak my truth, to set my boundaries, to be brave enough to face my biggest fears and see them as a gift to guide me on my path and to be brave enough to get off the bus.

Am I there? no. Will I always be perfectly truly me all the time? No, I won’t, I am a human, an emotional being, I will have feelings, I will have anger, I will have fear, I will have many things, and I will make choices that I will reflect on and see they weren’t what reflected the true me.

All I am saying is that I want to go on the journey to being me, to be more awake, to be more conscious, to choose love first, being first and not waiting, I want to use fear as my guide and not my inhibitor.

I am exhausted with taking everything that others and my mind say seriously, I am tired of having an opinion on everything based on fucking nothing other than my mind and its ego. I am tired of holding back my voice and not respecting myself. I am exhausted from analysing everything.

For those who may feel uncomfortable, I understand and for those who want to move on, I understand that too. I know that when I am true to my values, to my heart, to love and the real me that I will attract my people to my life and that is what I want. I will attract people who see me as I am and who love me without conditions. That is what love is, it comes from the heart and is without condition. It is our default.

I am here as this current carnation just once, I do not want to spend any more of that not being me. I am releasing my warrior spirit and I am saying to myself each day “take off those fucking shackles and show up as me”. It’s tough. But that’s OK.

Is it going to be easy? NO. Is there anything in life that matters that is easy or that is without sacrifice? No. We are here for a purpose and that purpose is to experience and to be truly who we are without the suffering of denying ourselves that. To share that.

I am releasing my warrior spirit, choosing to love myself fully and to be me…it feels truly fucking amazing!

Speaking my truth

Posted on by philipdodson

It’s been nearly a month since I posted a blog, I came back to my blogging earlier this year after a break, I had blogged every single day for over 6 years, then felt that my writing had got stuck so I stopped. So I took a break to freshen up and came back. However, I realised that I was still holding something back. I stopped again in early August, I’d lost my way with it all.

My writing was reflecting my mind state and not coming from my heart, that is where our true essence comes from, the soul and our heart and not from the mind.

Without realising it, my mind was sabotaging me writing from my heart and saying my truth.

This is the thing that we all suffer from, learning how to free ourselves to say our truth to ourselves first and then to the world. We hold back, we are fearful of it within and we fear others’ reactions to it.

Our soul wants us to always speak our truth and to be open-hearted and the mind fears this so, if we allow it, the mind stops us.

We all want to be seen and to be understood and we want the world to hear our truth.

The knowing within us that we are not speaking our truth and that we are holding back brings us great suffering and brings challenges to us. We can not be at peace and truly 100% love ourselves if we do not learn to speak our truth.

We are not here to be liked, we are here to be our true selves and to speak openly our true feelings from our hearts. When we do, we free ourselves and we attract to our lives the right tribe of people who accept us for who we are, they will love us unconditionally and will allow us to be seen, listened to and understood.

Finding our truth is a challenge initially as we have to be prepared to peel back the layers of the onion that we have put up around ourselves to protect us. We have built a shield around our true selves and hidden from the world. We have to be brave enough to bare our soul and to reveal our true self, we have to take off the layers. This is fucking hard and we are conditioned not to.

When we finally speak the truth from our hearts our relationships change with friends, partners, and everyone. Those who want to be around our truth will grow more connected to us and those who don’t will fade or run away.

Speaking from the heart comes without agenda and comes from love. When we speak from the mind it comes from a place of judgement, evaluation and has an agenda.

I am committing to going on a journey to speak my truth, speak from my heart and free myself. It’s going to be tough. It means sticking my hand into the fire.