The fear of not doing something

Often, you read about our fears of doing something or starting something or saying something.

Actually, the reverse is often the case, we fear not doing something or stopping just as much.

We continue doing something as we fear if we stop it will change how others see us, it threatens our ego, our self-image, so rather than stop, we carry on even if it brings us pain and we know deep within us it is the wrong thing to do. We carry on doing things in order to fit in, to be accepted, so we feel we belong.

Fear is what the mind creates and is felt in the body and is associated with the psychological imagine threats to our self-image, not any real physical danger. Whether we fear to do or we fear to stop, it is all in our mind and a choice we make. Why carry on metaphorically ‘stabbing ourselves with a fork’ and inflicting pain?

A funny thing

It turns out we are rather good at that thing we’ve wanted to do but our mind has sabotaged us from trying it.

What happened? We decided to do it…1,2,3…let’s go. We braved it, we stepped out of our mind, we allowed the fear to be the guide instead of the inhibitor.

The things we fear are the things that matter and the more we fear the more they matter. Why? Because our mind is programmed to protect the self-image the same as our limbic system is designed to protect the physical us. So if a bus is hurtling towards us we react instantly thanks to our limbic brains.

The mind lives in the past or the future, constantly fueling the self-image and projecting forward looking for salvation or more of the same. So when we try to do something, the mind creates worry, anxiety, fear through future projections of what will happen if we try. The mind does not want anything to happen to the self-image so the future projections are usually gloomy.

The moment we step away from our thinking and just do, focusing on that thing and that thing alone, deep focus, then the mind is silent and disarmed. What happens then is we learn, get even better and realise the fear/worry/anxiety etc wasn’t real.

We realise that the thing we’ve wanted to do, we can and we can do it and enjoy doing it.

Stay away from the mind and a funny thing will happen, we’ll fear things less.