Of course, we can look outside, but change and accountability come from within.
There are no other factors in whatever happens in our lives other than how we choose to react and what actions we choose.
The only element that is consistent in every single second of our entire journeys is us, we are there for every moment of our lives.
What we do is all that matters as we can not control anything or anyone else.
The more we accept and the more we let go, the easier it is to show up, the easier it is to give ourselves permission to be us. True belonging comes we when we are prepared, as Brene Brown beautifully says, to brave the wilderness that comes when we are truly ourselves 100% without fear. Belonging isn’t doing the easy thing and fitting in. It isn’t looking to others for change.
As always, this a journey, a work in progress and something that takes often a lifetime to obtain, but that’s ok because it’s about small steps to getting even better and staying a learner, not judging our own failings. Kindness to ourselves is a massive step.
It is inside us all, it’s a freedom what we choose to do.
Often, we choose to stay stuck in life because it is ‘comfortable’. Even though we moan, complain and say out loud that we are ‘fed up’, ‘can’t stand it anymore’ there is a comfort in what we know.
Coming unstuck means leaving the ‘safety’ zone even if we are in discomfort there. It means leaving shore and heading off to a new safety zone, one which abstractly we want to be in, however, there is a bigger commitment needed to make that journey out of where we are, across the unknown, to a place we are not certain will be better than where we currently are.
The biggest change comes from uncertainty, from being vulnerable and brave enough to leave shore and head to the unknown. The alternative is staying stuck, easier it seems on the surface but long-term a million times harder to endure and to break, the longer we stay stuck.
Hard as the initial breakout is, the longer we stick at it the easier it gets. Of course, we may reach our destination and it may be no better, but we will have gained learning and we have built our bravery muscles to try another journey into the unknown.
Risk and uncertainty lead to new adventures and opportunities.
Staying stuck is a choice.