Tag: Brene Brown

Shackled by ourselves

Posted on by philipdodson

I have over the course of a lifetime allowed my mind to dominate the real me, I have shackled myself with repeating thought patterns, made up in my head by the unconscious ramblings of others’ minds and the never-ending ramblings of my own.

I have created these so-called ‘truths’ about myself based on utter nonsense and then acted upon them. Thus actually creating the stories in reality. What we believe reality is, is what reality is. We always create and manifest our own reality. If we believe something to be true, then it is. If we believe we can do something we can and, of course, if we believe we can’t, then no surprise, we can’t.

I have felt shackled by those restrictions that I have created in my head and I have been slowly unshackling myself. However, I feel like I am slowly undoing a bolt or just starting to take the hacksaw to the chain and cutting slowly through it.

I feel that I want to jump into the water, but I just put one toe in, maybe a foot, and then I’m scared, the water is frightening, it’s cold, so I run back to the safety of the beach. It’s funny, that I am able outside of the nonsense of my head, to run straight into any sea, in any temperature and dive straight in, I have a cold shower, and during the winter months a fucking freezing cold shower, every single day and have done for 2 years. 

However, when it comes to getting on with my life dreams and allowing my soul to experience the things it wants to, the things I’d really, really, really want to do in life, then I am back to dipping the toe in the water and running back to the safety of the beach. Fear, as in whopping great psychological fear grips us all when it comes to the things we really want to do most in life. It is the fear of the uncertain future, that is just a concept in our heads as, of course, the future does not exist there is only now.

I am building the bravery muscle, as I want to stop just slowly removing the shackles, like dipping the toe in the water, I want to just dive in, I want to tear the shackles off in one go and be totally free of the restriction. 

I want to live a totally authentic life, where I allow the real me, my soul to experience life unhindered by the shackles of my mind and its thoughts and ego.

That means I have to face vulnerability and if you love Brene Brown’s work as I do, you’ll know that facing and rumbling (her fav word) with vulnerability isn’t a fluffy, cool and easy thing. It is like having to cross a river of molten lava in a flimsy dingy. Vulnerability, as in truly being our authentic and soulful essence is hard and requires true courage to ‘brave the wilderness’ (great Brene Brown book).

The hard things in life always bring us the most amazing and magical adventures and experiences, the very reason we are here and they get easier the more we brave it and build that bravery muscle, it’s all habit. The easy things turn sour, they bring us the suffering, regret, pain, internal pain, and eventually mental and physical decline. Easy gets hard and hard gets easy. But hard things require taking the shackles off, diving in and crossing the river of molten lava. But if life was plain sailing, no molten lava rivers, there would be no point to it.

Of course, our minds and egos don’t want any of this risk so it sabotages our attempts to be vulnerable and throw off the shackles. But at some point, when we are on the edge of that diving board looking down at the pool wanting to jump, we can either jump and become free or stay put, suffering a life of not achieving our true dreams living an unconscious mind-dominated life, whereby we miss real life now and spend it in our heads.

Take the shackles off and jump off the board.

What can I do to make a difference?

Posted on by philipdodson

We all think that we are too small to make a difference and there is a brilliant quote by the Dalia Lama that sums it up nicely “if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending a night in a room with a mosquito”.

There are countless examples of where one person has done a small step, every single day and created an amazing change, one that springs to mind of Jadav Payeng who on a sandbank planted some seedlings and over the course of a lifetime created an entire forest that bristles with life. He created Molai Forest which is now home to tigers, elephants and a whole diversity of animals and nature that had disappeared in the area.

And while we are on trees how about the bravery of the Kenyan Wangari Maathai who through her dedication, in a time when it was unheard of for women in a country like Kenya to stand up and make a difference, she created the Green Belt Movement and with the involvement of the UN they were responsible for 51 million trees being planted.

Look at the unbelievable bravery of Malala Yousafzai, who stood up to the Taliban and campaigned for women’s education and ended up being shot in the face. The Malala fund helps to improve access to education for women worldwide.

These are just three examples and none of them was born any different to you and me, they just choose to make their difference and against incredible odds, they showed up for us.

We can all choose to be the example to inspire others and that means taking the first step, as Brene Brown says we have to brave the wilderness. If we want different leaders it is no good waiting for them, we can become the leader we want to see, and we can become the change that we want to see. 

What can I do? Make my difference by showing up. We all have to get off the bus and stand up for what we want to see not stay on there and wait for someone else to do it first.