Unconditional love for ourselves

It’s important not to derive our self-worth from the exterior world. As we can not control the exterior world and therefore futile to base anything on it. It only brings us suffering as the measures we are conditioned to use always mean we feel like we are never enough.

We are born worthy and we die worthy, no matter what. It’s unconditional. That’s a fundamental thing for all human souls.

So often we look to what others say, or achievements, our status and so many other unimportant things to measure whether or not we are worthy, worthy of love. We suffer from the feeling of lack of worthiness and we feel we are not worthy of love.

Once we accept this we can change the internal narrative to kindness and unconditional love for ourselves. We are always worthy of love.

When we are true to ourselves, no compromise, then we release ourselves from the burden of the exterior world and our ego..we no longer need to seek exterior worth. As Brene Brown beautifully puts it ‘true belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are’.

A new start

So here we are, January 1st 2021, and a ‘new start’, as was the 1st January every year of our life…well so our mind tricked us.

What is different today, to say, 23rd March or 18th October? Why is 1st January so significant to us?

It is the mind that uses the rest of the year as an excuse to wait to start again next year.

We set these mega goals on the 1st January for the year, but that only leads us to delay any action, well, that is until after the initial enthusiasm that New Year brings. But that wears off as we set ridiculously unachievable targets buoyed by the excitement of the fresh start, so by mid to end January we are exhausted by the tsunami of tasks that we then give up.

12 months away seems such a long time to do our stuff in. So the mind tricks us into relaxing ‘you’ve got loads of time to do that’ and ‘you deserve a break’. Also, because we think we have a whole year we set unachievable goals rather than look at a small step now.

The challenge is that later in the year we realise that we are way behind, so up pops the mind and sabotages any further progress, it says ‘it’s too late now, best wait to start again in 2022’.

The thing is any moment is a ‘new start’ and we do not have to wait for any special day in the calendar to come along as a reset. We can reset any time, any day. All we have to do is step away from the mind and its repeating thought patterns, and just simply do something right now.

Right now we can choose to do anything and as soon as we think about it, then it is almost certain not to happen now. Of course, have some long-term goals and then look at what we can do immediately now to move towards them.

Now is the only time we can ever do anything, it is the only moment we can just be and enjoy life. So if there is something we want to achieve, then do not focus on the achievement and the future, just do something now. As the moments of our life unfold we can take further steps, one after the other and without the sabotaging mind realising we have done it.

Equally, if our actions are not working how we want, we can change it instantly and do something different, immediately now, and without the mind and its thinking.

So if you are waiting for 1st January to restart, just realise, that now and every subsequent moment of our journey is an opportunity to restart. Take as many ‘new starts’ as you want not just this year but every single moment of your existence.

Lastly, achievements do not define our worth and we are all worthy whatever we do and just being and being content in this moment is enough to bring us lasting joy. Being content with what we already ‘are’ will remove the need to rely on 1st January any year to restart or change things.