Male toxicity and what is wrong with that phrase

I am proud of being a man, and I am not going to apologise for that, I am proud of my gender and I am proud to be a warrior (not a war-maker), a carer, and a nurturer. I am proud of who I am.

I will and always have, stood up for women, as I would stand up for any human soul regardless of their gender. It is not about equality, it is about balance and recognising and celebrating the differences between genders and not trying to make one the other. 

Women have a strong and powerful role to play as do men and we are similar and amazingly different too. That is neither a good nor bad thing, it simply is, and we do neither any good by trying to make them the same or judging each other. We can choose to recognise and support each other, celebrate our differences and seek to understand.

If we want change, we have to seek to understand the other first and we have to be the example. Men will not become different by being attacked, labelled judged, shamed and ostracised. Men do not have to become women, they do not have to start hating themselves and become apologists for others’ choices. 

If we all treat others with respect, empathy, compassion, love, kindness and understanding, then we will receive that in return. If we seek to do the right things, regardless of gender or any other difference between us and another human soul, then the human race becomes one and changes and inspires others without the need to criticise. 

For example, I have been a vegan and it just didn’t work for me personally. I now only eat animal products in a very limited amount and from ethical/responsible sources in a way that respects us, nature, and not in a harmful disrespectful way. I am not going to be motivated or anyone else by a vegan person judging my choices in a hateful and aggressive way labelling me as a ‘murderer’. 

Equally, as a respecter of women, a person who believes in everyone being treated with respect, as a person who stands up for women, and has always treated women respectfully, I am not happy with phrases such as ‘male toxicity’ as I would not be happy with the phrase ‘female toxicity’. 

These are judgemental, shaming and disrespectful phrases that actually only lead to the opposite of what the users of them perceive will be the response. These judgemental phrases are fear and anger based and are a way of lashing out in a critical, judgemental and unfounded way.

Respect others, accept others and treat people as the amazing human souls each and every one of us is. What can go wrong with that? Celebrate our differences, and be grateful that we are not all the same. 

Equally, be proud of who and what you are and do not allow others to tell you what you need to think, say or do. We all make wrong individual choices at the time, and we all act at the level of consciousness that we are at right now, we can’t act any other way. That does not excuse a poor individual choice, however, it does not give others the right to label and condemn us for that choice.

Let those who have not sinned cast the first stone or in another way, people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

We are all the one life and each one of us has our unique gifts and journey to experience. Let’s all move on from judgement and celebrate each other and support each other unconditionally.

Beauty is an inside job

The world focuses on exterior beauty and we measure ourselves cruelly against others through the lenses of accepted standards of beauty in society.

Of course, within we suffer as we perceive that we are not beautiful. It is now so pervasive and corrosive in society that it has become as serious as life and death, that’s how powerful the collective mind is once we become attached to it. We become our thoughts.

Others are more beautiful and thus the untrue internal negative narratives and negative thoughts run repetitively leading to manifesting unfounded behaviours and unkindness inwardly to ourselves.

Truly beautiful people are those who have focused their energies on realising that we become beautiful on the inside and they manifest that beauty through their beliefs about what beauty really is. Those people then radiate that beauty and light on the exterior too. Not in a cosmetic or societal way but in a soulful and wonderful way. They are beautiful souls who realise that we are all truly the same within, equal and worthy in every way.

The external shaming and judgement of our ‘beauty’ can only make us suffer if we choose to align with the falsehood that beauty is an external thing. Visual external beauty is subjective and judgement based which are all created by the individual and collective minds. Thus they are all temporary, opinion-based whims that lack any soulful substance, yet we create our inner image based on such nonsense.

Shallow definitions of beauty accepted by the collective and individual minds and egos are a cause of suffering for us all. However, those who let go of those definitions and create beauty within first will spread that beauty in a non-judgemental and uplifting way to the world. The true beauty that is life is what we all have as an amazing gift that cannot ever be judged or evaluated.

When we stop looking in the mirror to see if we are worthy and beautiful and start to be kind, loving, compassionate, empathetic, understanding and patient with ourselves and simply be without evaluation of others, then we will feel our own beauty within. Becoming beautiful within ourselves through our beliefs and allowing our true essence to flourish manifests pure beauty inside and out without an agenda. We have detached ourselves from our ego and therefore we can become beautiful.

When we let go of the craving to be seen as beautiful by the minds of others and respect ourselves, honour our values, be true to ourselves, concentrate on the inside then we see ourselves as beautiful as a soul.

Beauty is an inside job. What if we started teaching to look within and create our beauty inside?