Male toxicity and what is wrong with that phrase

I am proud of being a man, and I am not going to apologise for that, I am proud of my gender and I am proud to be a warrior (not a war-maker), a carer, and a nurturer. I am proud of who I am.

I will and always have, stood up for women, as I would stand up for any human soul regardless of their gender. It is not about equality, it is about balance and recognising and celebrating the differences between genders and not trying to make one the other. 

Women have a strong and powerful role to play as do men and we are similar and amazingly different too. That is neither a good nor bad thing, it simply is, and we do neither any good by trying to make them the same or judging each other. We can choose to recognise and support each other, celebrate our differences and seek to understand.

If we want change, we have to seek to understand the other first and we have to be the example. Men will not become different by being attacked, labelled judged, shamed and ostracised. Men do not have to become women, they do not have to start hating themselves and become apologists for others’ choices. 

If we all treat others with respect, empathy, compassion, love, kindness and understanding, then we will receive that in return. If we seek to do the right things, regardless of gender or any other difference between us and another human soul, then the human race becomes one and changes and inspires others without the need to criticise. 

For example, I have been a vegan and it just didn’t work for me personally. I now only eat animal products in a very limited amount and from ethical/responsible sources in a way that respects us, nature, and not in a harmful disrespectful way. I am not going to be motivated or anyone else by a vegan person judging my choices in a hateful and aggressive way labelling me as a ‘murderer’. 

Equally, as a respecter of women, a person who believes in everyone being treated with respect, as a person who stands up for women, and has always treated women respectfully, I am not happy with phrases such as ‘male toxicity’ as I would not be happy with the phrase ‘female toxicity’. 

These are judgemental, shaming and disrespectful phrases that actually only lead to the opposite of what the users of them perceive will be the response. These judgemental phrases are fear and anger based and are a way of lashing out in a critical, judgemental and unfounded way.

Respect others, accept others and treat people as the amazing human souls each and every one of us is. What can go wrong with that? Celebrate our differences, and be grateful that we are not all the same. 

Equally, be proud of who and what you are and do not allow others to tell you what you need to think, say or do. We all make wrong individual choices at the time, and we all act at the level of consciousness that we are at right now, we can’t act any other way. That does not excuse a poor individual choice, however, it does not give others the right to label and condemn us for that choice.

Let those who have not sinned cast the first stone or in another way, people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

We are all the one life and each one of us has our unique gifts and journey to experience. Let’s all move on from judgement and celebrate each other and support each other unconditionally.

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if want to”…as the song goes, but what about us and our own lives?

The thing is our journey and how we see it is ours and ours alone to own, it isn’t up for others to decide if it is right or wrong. How we see our situation is all that matters. It is our story, now that doesn’t mean that we can not change it, but it is not for others to decide or re-write. It is our own party and we can cry if we want to.

How we feel is how we feel, and again not open for others to debate or want to alter that.

It’s our life and it is important to take complete ownership of it all and not allow others to shape it to what they believe it should be.

Being ourselves, as in our true authentic selves, requires us to be vulnerable, to brave enough to step up onto the stage and be in the spotlight of other people’s views, opinions, and often judgement.