Breaking the cycle

We often get stuck in a rut in life. I have been recently struggling with getting up at a regular time and then sleeping heavily. This then means I miss an important time of the day when the world is still silent and there is a moment to complete my daily rituals that ground me, bring me into the day and help me to form habits in other parts of my life.

I used excuse upon excuse but I was causing myself great suffering because I was saying that  I will get up at 6 am and then not do it. That was bringing a lack of trust in myself, it was compromising my integrity, causing doubt, and negativity, and prohibiting me from doing the deeply meaningful work that I want to do.

Integrity is about doing what you say, not just with others, but more importantly with ourselves. We can not be true to others if we do not first become true to ourselves. Integrity is about doing what you say when no one else is there.

Of course, there are going to be times that we cannot always do what we say, circumstances mean that we have to change our plans sometimes and, of course, we can be compassionate and kind to ourselves when for whatever reason, we just do not show up.

However, if we make it a constant thing, that we say one thing and then do not do it, then we are harming ourselves and others. We are killing our own self-confidence and trust in ourselves to be authentic and to show up.

Our worth is not affected ever by what we do or don’t do, we are still worthy and worthy of love no matter what. However, we can bring a great deal more joy, purpose and energy to ourselves and others by living by what we say and by endeavouring to live an integral life.

It is better to not commit to something than it is to commit and then not do it. The best is always to commit and do it.

Speaking my truth

It’s been nearly a month since I posted a blog, I came back to my blogging earlier this year after a break, I had blogged every single day for over 6 years, then felt that my writing had got stuck so I stopped. So I took a break to freshen up and came back. However, I realised that I was still holding something back. I stopped again in early August, I’d lost my way with it all.

My writing was reflecting my mind state and not coming from my heart, that is where our true essence comes from, the soul and our heart and not from the mind.

Without realising it, my mind was sabotaging me writing from my heart and saying my truth.

This is the thing that we all suffer from, learning how to free ourselves to say our truth to ourselves first and then to the world. We hold back, we are fearful of it within and we fear others’ reactions to it.

Our soul wants us to always speak our truth and to be open-hearted and the mind fears this so, if we allow it, the mind stops us.

We all want to be seen and to be understood and we want the world to hear our truth.

The knowing within us that we are not speaking our truth and that we are holding back brings us great suffering and brings challenges to us. We can not be at peace and truly 100% love ourselves if we do not learn to speak our truth.

We are not here to be liked, we are here to be our true selves and to speak openly our true feelings from our hearts. When we do, we free ourselves and we attract to our lives the right tribe of people who accept us for who we are, they will love us unconditionally and will allow us to be seen, listened to and understood.

Finding our truth is a challenge initially as we have to be prepared to peel back the layers of the onion that we have put up around ourselves to protect us. We have built a shield around our true selves and hidden from the world. We have to be brave enough to bare our soul and to reveal our true self, we have to take off the layers. This is fucking hard and we are conditioned not to.

When we finally speak the truth from our hearts our relationships change with friends, partners, and everyone. Those who want to be around our truth will grow more connected to us and those who don’t will fade or run away.

Speaking from the heart comes without agenda and comes from love. When we speak from the mind it comes from a place of judgement, evaluation and has an agenda.

I am committing to going on a journey to speak my truth, speak from my heart and free myself. It’s going to be tough. It means sticking my hand into the fire.