Tag: other people

Attached

Posted on by philipdodson

Getting attached to our views and opinions only leads to conflict with others and suffering within. When our ego gets involved and we become attached to our views we become them and the ego will literally fight to death in the extreme to avoid being wrong. We no longer hear the other person, we go into a defence mode that means we will do almost anything to make sure we are right and the other is wrong…win at all costs.

When attachment is there then comes the reaction, the emotions, the anger and the victim/punisher mode towards others becomes activated if the other person is in disagreement. We feel it inside, we pump adrenaline and cortisol into our bodies and as it is a verbal battle, normally not physical, then the argument causes damage to us both mentally and physically as the chemicals are not released. All this suffering and cost to ourselves and others just to defend a simple temporary mental construct of our mind, a view.

It does not mean we can not have a view on something, it simply means to not make our views personal in terms of our story and not to attach anything to them. Then there is no need to defend anything or be right. When we accept contrary view points and others, when we accept that our views are just an opinion and that we do not need to be right, then we can present our view from a position of inner calm and then the other person will reflect that and will not feel the need to be defensive or react.

Peace within leads to peace outside and that can not happen all the time we are attached to our views and our ego.

We are all one moment away

Posted on by philipdodson

We are all just a short step from our life being turned upside down, there are no guarantees, no certainties…everything can change in an instance. It can come from just a simple choice that leads to a big change.

Yet we can be cruelly judgemental of others who’s perceived fortunes have changed and are seen as no longer worthy humans because their struggles in life have lead to them becoming, say homeless or drug users or whatever other activity society might sneer at.

We are all worthy, no matter what, from the day we are born to the day we die. Our choices are not the measure to define us by. We all make them and we all make ‘good’ ones and ‘bad’ ones. It’s all very subjective anyway, who is to say what is right?. Yet as a society we are conditioned to judge others for their ‘bad’ choices, yet we’d excuse ourselves.

Judgement serves no purpose and is actually more a reflection of ourselves than the person we judge.

We are all one moment away from a bad choice…so best to accept others as they are and to leave others to be. Our choices are the only thing we control and again, it doesn’t make us a bad person permanently, if we make a wrong choice. We can start again in an instance and change, but it becomes harder once we have been labelled.