Getting attached to our views and opinions only leads to conflict with others and suffering within. When our ego gets involved and we become attached to our views we become them and the ego will literally fight to death in the extreme to avoid being wrong. We no longer hear the other person, we go into a defence mode that means we will do almost anything to make sure we are right and the other is wrong…win at all costs.
When attachment is there then comes the reaction, the emotions, the anger and the victim/punisher mode towards others becomes activated if the other person is in disagreement. We feel it inside, we pump adrenaline and cortisol into our bodies and as it is a verbal battle, normally not physical, then the argument causes damage to us both mentally and physically as the chemicals are not released. All this suffering and cost to ourselves and others just to defend a simple temporary mental construct of our mind, a view.
It does not mean we can not have a view on something, it simply means to not make our views personal in terms of our story and not to attach anything to them. Then there is no need to defend anything or be right. When we accept contrary view points and others, when we accept that our views are just an opinion and that we do not need to be right, then we can present our view from a position of inner calm and then the other person will reflect that and will not feel the need to be defensive or react.
Peace within leads to peace outside and that can not happen all the time we are attached to our views and our ego.
Love is something that comes from the soul, it isn’t an emotion. Emotion, Greek for turbulence, are the chemical manifestation in the body of what is happening our egoic mind.
As a true human soul our pure essence is love, we are love. Therefore love is not conditional it is unconditional as it is our default operating system as a spiritual being.
Neediness and infatuation are what the mind tricks us into to believing love is. We meet someone, there is a physical infatuation, their story matches ours and two minds fall in ‘love’. This then develops into a longer relationship of dependency, neediness and place a burden on the other to provide happiness and fulfilment. Of course, this works all the time the neediness is served.
Then the physical infatuation wanes, the other expectations aren’t met and the two minds that feel in love breakdown and issues happen. Often leading to one the minds seeking fulfilment through another, only to find that inevitably the same challenge occurs sometime later. The lack of happiness then leads to deny ‘love’ to the other and often involves punishment.
Love can never be taken away. Love is totally without conditions and when we allow our light from within to shine and we disassociate with the egoic story and let go of the neediness the love will always previal.
It’s important to realise that neediness and dependency, what we mistake as love, is always destined to bring suffering for ourselves and the others within our relationships.
We are love not the story in our mind. We are always worthy of love from ourselves as we are all born worthy as a human soul and we end our physical journey as that same soul. Love is not defined by anything.