Attached

Getting attached to our views and opinions only leads to conflict with others and suffering within. When our ego gets involved and we become attached to our views we become them and the ego will literally fight to death in the extreme to avoid being wrong. We no longer hear the other person, we go into a defence mode that means we will do almost anything to make sure we are right and the other is wrong…win at all costs.

When attachment is there then comes the reaction, the emotions, the anger and the victim/punisher mode towards others becomes activated if the other person is in disagreement. We feel it inside, we pump adrenaline and cortisol into our bodies and as it is a verbal battle, normally not physical, then the argument causes damage to us both mentally and physically as the chemicals are not released. All this suffering and cost to ourselves and others just to defend a simple temporary mental construct of our mind, a view.

It does not mean we can not have a view on something, it simply means to not make our views personal in terms of our story and not to attach anything to them. Then there is no need to defend anything or be right. When we accept contrary view points and others, when we accept that our views are just an opinion and that we do not need to be right, then we can present our view from a position of inner calm and then the other person will reflect that and will not feel the need to be defensive or react.

Peace within leads to peace outside and that can not happen all the time we are attached to our views and our ego.

Head back into your shell

We all get those days, when overwhelm about the future, and often the ‘Tsunami’ of tasks, that we have put on our own ‘do list’, simply scares us into inaction.

We feel the urge to give up.

We feel like the only solution, after the initial bravery of stepping out into the ‘spotlight’, is to run back into the safety of our ‘shell’. The thought of actually changing to what we really want creates fear.

Well don’t run back.

The courage required to make the first steps towards changing something or doing something different, is not to be underestimated, and the time it takes to build up to taking that step too.

Don’t let unease of our limbic ‘chimp’ brain, drag you back to a place of ‘safety’, where starting, to some up the courage to try again, will be even harder the next time.

When we are at our greatest feeling of unease, then that is the signal, that we are about to create our best.

We need to fight the urge to hide again, battle through, break the tasks down into small manageable chunks, and keep going. Momentum will build and then the pain will ease.

I am at that stage now, let the ‘battle’ begin, I am going to accept my fears, realise that they are a positive sign and carry on the cause.