Inner acceptance of ‘what is’ does not need to be confused with outward acceptance.
Accepting what is and others as they are and as this moment is, enables us to be at peace, however, it does not mean we agree with it or are happy about it. Of course, we might be, but accepting inside is not agreement. It just means we are making a conscious choice not to suffer from what is, something that can not be change.
If we then choose to voice our view or act, it is from a place of calm and free from egoic attachment to the outcome, and again, removing any suffering from other peoples’ reactions.
Surrendering to what has already occurred and what other people are is not being a ‘doormat’ or weak, it is strength to be able to free ourselves from the resistance to what we can not change.
Inside is what counts as it is the only thing we can control.
Getting attached to our views and opinions only leads to conflict with others and suffering within. When our ego gets involved and we become attached to our views we become them and the ego will literally fight to death in the extreme to avoid being wrong. We no longer hear the other person, we go into a defence mode that means we will do almost anything to make sure we are right and the other is wrong…win at all costs.
When attachment is there then comes the reaction, the emotions, the anger and the victim/punisher mode towards others becomes activated if the other person is in disagreement. We feel it inside, we pump adrenaline and cortisol into our bodies and as it is a verbal battle, normally not physical, then the argument causes damage to us both mentally and physically as the chemicals are not released. All this suffering and cost to ourselves and others just to defend a simple temporary mental construct of our mind, a view.
It does not mean we can not have a view on something, it simply means to not make our views personal in terms of our story and not to attach anything to them. Then there is no need to defend anything or be right. When we accept contrary view points and others, when we accept that our views are just an opinion and that we do not need to be right, then we can present our view from a position of inner calm and then the other person will reflect that and will not feel the need to be defensive or react.
Peace within leads to peace outside and that can not happen all the time we are attached to our views and our ego.