Deny things is a simple resistance to what is and will cause inner suffering, mental and thereafter, physical too. Like continuing to walk with a stone in our shoe, hoping that it might just go away. Denying that it’s there brings pain.
Acceptance of the stone in the shoe, what is, allows us to simply deal with it now, or not deal with it as that’s a choice too, but we end the suffering in the mind as we’ve accepted that it’s there. We do not hide from what is occurring now or in almost all cases, what has already occurred and therefore we are unable to change no matter how much we want to.
The only time we can actually deal with anything is now. Anything other than that simple acceptance is mental suffering and in the case of the stone in the shoe, physical as well, which interestingly always comes after mental suffering.
The idea of being happy all the time is an illusion and actually is counter-productive.
The denial of unhappiness is not healthy. The denial of ‘what is’ will lead to suffering.
Just gritting our teeth with a fake smile to the outside world and saying ‘I’m great’ when asked ‘how are you?’ is not going to do anything other than make you less happy within. The fakeness to protect the fragile ego works for a fleeting moment, but then it is gone.
Labelling ourselves within the mind as ‘unhappy’ is not good either. This is conditioning us to choose that current circumstances are bad and is setting us up to look at things in a gloomy and negative way.
If we choose to observe our current state and accept that there may be unhappiness within, then we can accept, choose to take action now, if needed, and be at peace with where we are. We are not saying that we are unhappy, we are recognising a temporary unhappiness within which we can alter now.
Denying what is, is the greatest cause of suffering within and is caused when we ignore or resist and fight our current situation or inner state. No amount of outward facade of smiling and faking will relieve the inner state, it will only worsen it by the denial.
When we accept it, then the fight subsides and peace arises. Constantly seeking happiness will make you as miserable, as it is not possible and denies unhappiness.