What do words mean?

What a person says could be very small, what we think about what the person said is usually very large and literally, in some cases, last for years after the words were uttered. What they said was maybe one or two words, what we read into it was a whole book.

We attach so much to words, words that often come from the ramblings of another person’s unconscious thought train and then we analyse them, dissect them, and think about all the possible meanings there could be to what they said. We take everything said about us or to us by others so seriously. When like everything in life, they do not matter unless we choose to make them matter.

They might have just said ‘good morning’ but our own internal pain bodies will latch onto that and they will see a meaning in it that wasn’t there. Our prejudgements about a particular person will cloud what they actually say in a fog of thoughts and preconceived notions…we will even analyse things as they are said not often even hearing what they said. Our mind often makes up what was said to suit its stories. Then after we question even the tone of their voice. There wasn’t actually a ‘tone’ that was wrong but that is what our mind heard regardless.

As with everything, what is reality, is what we believe it to be.

If we believe the world and everyone in it are out to get us, then they are, as that is all we will see and believe. What we believe gets manifested.

What people say is a collection of simple vibrations formed into words that we and society have attached a meaning to. We choose how to receive and react to those words. They’re just sounds and it is our mind that chooses to attach suffering to them or not.

Lastly, where has all this endless analysis ever got us? Nowhere, other than suffering and bad relationships. Also, this is before we even start on the written words in texts, WhatsApp messages, social media posts and emails. That’s off-the-charts analysis!

Fact…not opinion

So, I am back, again. Back on the blogging horse after a short but needed sabbatical.

I am going to have another tattoo, big surprise!! You become easily addicted. I waited most of my adult life to get round to having one, even though I’d always wanted one. I finally overcame the fears, not fear of the pain particularly, just the fear of having one and ‘what if it looks shit?’ or ‘what if I don’t like it?’ and so on. Endless crap that my mind threw up to sabotage my soul’s desire to create beautiful art on my skin. I love art and all things spiritual, so I designed my own owl tattoo and the amazingly talented Mo set to work. I have always loved owls and see them as my spiritual totem. Then I had a raven, and thankfully Mo talked me out of my design this time for her amazing design. Of course, now I’m onto the next one…

I am going to have the words “I may be wrong” tattooed on my left forearm. This will be a permanent reminder of my new mantra…I have believed for a whole lifetime that “I am right” and protecting that at all costs. Now I am able to accept that I have a view, and usually based on nothing other than my mind telling me useless shit and then convincing me that I am right, based on nothing other than the fear of not having an opinion or view or knowledge on/of something and that view is just that a view, neither right or wrong, good or bad…just a temporary mental position that might change and is nothing very important.

I picked this tattoo idea up from listening to one of the many amazing fab Fearne Cotton podcasts, Happy Place, with Bjorn ‘Natthiko’ Lindeblad (check). He quit his amazing career as the youngest CEO of a company at the time to become a forest monk, which he continued to be for 40 years. He was taught the mantra ‘I may be wrong’ at the monastery as a way to avoid conflict. When you feel any conflict about to arise with another, simply repeat ‘I may be wrong’ a few times before reacting and the conflict always subsides, it gives us a chance to become conscious and step away from our ego.

Interesting, as a male, we are expected to know everything and it is a burden that we all carry. Society also expects us to have a view on everything and this was perfect for me as I grew up in a household where everyone had an opinion on everything and my father’s favourite phrase was ‘fact!! not opinion son’ for anything that was his view. Based again on nothing. He would have an opinion on mushroom growing out of season in Mongolia, if there is such a thing, even though he’d never grown mushrooms, or much else, and had never been to Mongolia.

We create so much conflict, suffering and damage battling it out with another person’s ego on what are just views. All views are just temporary thoughts amongst the thousands and thousands of usually repetitive daily thoughts.

When we do not attach ourselves to our opinions we release the need to defend them at all costs. The human race has killed each other in the millions just on the views of, or a group of, egos.

More and more I have less and less opinions on anything, I am no longer the ‘know-all’ and the defender of nothing that important as to be worth conflict of any kind with another.

So I am no longer of the ‘fact not opinion’ mantra and it has been replaced by ‘I do not know’. If it is really important to know, then, of course, I can do some research of my own or listen to others. However, my life journey has taught me that nothing really matters and very few things other than this eternal present moment that is now can be 100% true. Truth in itself is just an opinion and there are no facts.

Once you relieve yourself of the burden of having to know something or have a view, you reach a state of inner peace and freedom from the burden. We also release others from the burden of our knowledge and the lack of resistance to others releases the need for any conflict and suffering.

The human race would be in a more peaceful and joyous state if we knew less and had fewer views on stuff we knew nothing about.

Of course…I may be wrong.