What does the life I want look like?

What does the life I want look like?

Here are some thoughts…surrounded by great family and friends, sitting in the armchair in my studio writing, doing some volunteering at Plawhatch Farm, doing art at the desk in my studio, walking the dog in nature, sitting under the pergola having a tea and meditating, playing games, listening to music, exercising, swimming in the sea, cycling in nature, reading and listening to books and podcasts, blogging, writing poems, writing a book, selling my art, coaching people, fixing up the house and making things, oh and travelling and seeing my friends.

What do I have now?

I have an amazing, loving, and beautiful wife, I have a steam train that runs along the bottom of the garden, I have a beautiful studio in the garden that I made with Oliver (my son), and I have amazing incredible and unique children who bring me great joy and pride, they make me laugh and teach me a great deal, I have food in the fridge, money in the bank (no begging letters please it’s pretty modest tbh!), I am healthy and I am looking after myself better than before, I have given up alcohol – 8 years + now, I am committed to improving and growing, I have amazing friends, I have fantastic and totally crazy pets and an amazing house, I have the best car ever made and it takes me wherever I want to go, and it’s not a Ferrari or Porsche, it’s 20 years old. I pick fruit and shop at the amazing bio-dynamic farm down the road where we get super healthy food from.

OK, the things I want I can do all of this now, oh yeah, I am doing it now. Actually, the life I want, I already have, therefore, stop seeking something else. Stop the suffering, stop the negative resistance to what is, stop the burden and pressure on myself and others, just be grateful for what you have and focus on that and growing that to become even better. I have had an amazing journey, I have the gift of life right now, so anything that happens now and in the unfolding moments is a total gift and a bonus.

Instead of constantly looking for more or different I am going to focus on what I have and that is it, there is nothing else to worry about. Now it is all about seeing every single thing as a bonus and that everything is just an adventure and a new lesson or meeting a new teacher.

Life is a gift, I have had fabulous gifts right up to this moment and everything that is coming my way is another gift, every single breath is life itself, I am life and I am going to accept all that comes and I am going to be at peace with it all and let life unfold each moment and only focus my energy on now and on creating the next adventure and enjoying the journey, the doing, and not the thinking.

I have everything that I will ever need to be happy, peaceful, joyous and I can create whatever I want whenever I want and the only hurdle in my way are the ones that I choose to put there. I alone create my own reality, I manifest exactly the life I want, I am in my own projector room and I choose what film I put on, and I choose to watch that film or change it for another or create a different one completely. There are no restrictions on what I can do.

Gabrielle Bernstein said ‘we are not responsible for what we are seeing, we are responsible for how we choose to perceive what we are seeing’. We manifest our own reality.

All I need to do is allow the creations I want to come from my soul and use the tool that is my mind to create the beliefs, thoughts and actions that will turn the dream into a reality.

I will manifest the life I believe I want, so if you believe in a life that matches your dreams then it will be. It will be that now, not in the future as the future does not exist and the only time we can experience anything is now, so now is your life, so change it now to what you want and you will have it now.

What is around the corner has not occurred and never will, it is only a creation of our mind. What occurs next is what will occur according to what we and others are choosing to manifest, so we control what we do, but not the other people, the weather, the events that others create, the changes in anything other than what we directly do.

I am sitting here after a morning swim in the sea with a friend and my wife, then I have had a lovely healthy lunch sitting in our garden amongst birds, bees, flowers and in the enriching rays of the sun, I am now sitting listening to Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga sing classic songs on my armchair in my garden studio that I built with my son to do art, write and create all things in, and I am writing this blog.

That is my life now and it’s exactly what I want it to look like. The end of seeking and suffering from believing that my life isn’t what I wanted. The trick now is to remember this and apply it to life. I suspect anyone reading this also already has the life they want and they have all they need and if you don’t you can change it right now if you choose. Just stop looking and enjoy it now.

Fact…not opinion

So, I am back, again. Back on the blogging horse after a short but needed sabbatical.

I am going to have another tattoo, big surprise!! You become easily addicted. I waited most of my adult life to get round to having one, even though I’d always wanted one. I finally overcame the fears, not fear of the pain particularly, just the fear of having one and ‘what if it looks shit?’ or ‘what if I don’t like it?’ and so on. Endless crap that my mind threw up to sabotage my soul’s desire to create beautiful art on my skin. I love art and all things spiritual, so I designed my own owl tattoo and the amazingly talented Mo set to work. I have always loved owls and see them as my spiritual totem. Then I had a raven, and thankfully Mo talked me out of my design this time for her amazing design. Of course, now I’m onto the next one…

I am going to have the words “I may be wrong” tattooed on my left forearm. This will be a permanent reminder of my new mantra…I have believed for a whole lifetime that “I am right” and protecting that at all costs. Now I am able to accept that I have a view, and usually based on nothing other than my mind telling me useless shit and then convincing me that I am right, based on nothing other than the fear of not having an opinion or view or knowledge on/of something and that view is just that a view, neither right or wrong, good or bad…just a temporary mental position that might change and is nothing very important.

I picked this tattoo idea up from listening to one of the many amazing fab Fearne Cotton podcasts, Happy Place, with Bjorn ‘Natthiko’ Lindeblad (check). He quit his amazing career as the youngest CEO of a company at the time to become a forest monk, which he continued to be for 40 years. He was taught the mantra ‘I may be wrong’ at the monastery as a way to avoid conflict. When you feel any conflict about to arise with another, simply repeat ‘I may be wrong’ a few times before reacting and the conflict always subsides, it gives us a chance to become conscious and step away from our ego.

Interesting, as a male, we are expected to know everything and it is a burden that we all carry. Society also expects us to have a view on everything and this was perfect for me as I grew up in a household where everyone had an opinion on everything and my father’s favourite phrase was ‘fact!! not opinion son’ for anything that was his view. Based again on nothing. He would have an opinion on mushroom growing out of season in Mongolia, if there is such a thing, even though he’d never grown mushrooms, or much else, and had never been to Mongolia.

We create so much conflict, suffering and damage battling it out with another person’s ego on what are just views. All views are just temporary thoughts amongst the thousands and thousands of usually repetitive daily thoughts.

When we do not attach ourselves to our opinions we release the need to defend them at all costs. The human race has killed each other in the millions just on the views of, or a group of, egos.

More and more I have less and less opinions on anything, I am no longer the ‘know-all’ and the defender of nothing that important as to be worth conflict of any kind with another.

So I am no longer of the ‘fact not opinion’ mantra and it has been replaced by ‘I do not know’. If it is really important to know, then, of course, I can do some research of my own or listen to others. However, my life journey has taught me that nothing really matters and very few things other than this eternal present moment that is now can be 100% true. Truth in itself is just an opinion and there are no facts.

Once you relieve yourself of the burden of having to know something or have a view, you reach a state of inner peace and freedom from the burden. We also release others from the burden of our knowledge and the lack of resistance to others releases the need for any conflict and suffering.

The human race would be in a more peaceful and joyous state if we knew less and had fewer views on stuff we knew nothing about.

Of course…I may be wrong.