Tag: vulnerable

What to do when fear comes knocking?

Posted on by philipdodson

When the challenge comes, when the voice comes, when the fear arrives, when the doubt comes, when the old habits resurface, what do I do?

I allow my inner voice, my inner child, and my fears to be seen, to be understood, I welcome them as a guide and sign. I do not reject them or judge them, I simply hear them, understand them and allow them to be seen. I then offer my empathy, a hug, a there-there and I reassure my mind and my inner child that everything will be OK. I am here for them, I will support them, the universe is with me and all things will be OK.

I have to learn to trust that, I have to reassure those fears that everything will always be OK, no matter what and I have to lean into those fears and realise that I am moving forward and growing, which will always bring fear and uncertainty. The mind does not like change and fears any kind of risk to the status quo.

I am fearing moving on from my comfort zone, which is in fact, a discomfort zone, my soul wants to break out and be free and express itself and do all the amazing things that it wants to do. However, the mind and the ego want none of that, the inner child is frightened and all the old repeating habits and sabotage are being dug up to prevent me from moving on. Time to give them all a reassuring hug and support them and embrace those feelings and own them. Take a leap into the unknown…it’s where all the magic is.

It is a battle, but it is not a battle that has to be a negative fight or a struggle, it is one that my warrior spirit is going to lovingly work on to reassure my inner child that all will be alright, it is fine to step out onto the stage and be in the light, nothing will happen and everything will be ok.

If we learn how to nurture, protect, reassure and understand our inner child, mind and ego and give it a hug and support it, then it will be at peace too. When we resist it, fight it and create this inner conflict, then it naturally defends itself and will not be in alignment with ourselves.

In order to move on and be brave enough to be our true selves, we have to bring ourselves in alignment with our mind and body. Mind, body and soul in total alignment.

We are amazing and in order to allow that amazement to shine we have to be able to work in partnership with our mind and our body and we have to respect them and be with them. If we fight them and try to control them then it will create resistance.

Reassuring our inner child is key to helping us let go of fear and allowing fear to become our friend, to be our guide, and to walk hand and hand with it down our path. Fear is not bad or good, it just is and when we accept that and partner with it, lean into it and of with it, then we can overcome the fear and grow. We can achieve our very best when we embrace fear and do not fear the fear.

I am releasing the warrior

Posted on by philipdodson

I am me and no one else is me. I am uniquely me. The only me has wanted to be me and show that ‘me’ to the world all my life. Well, I am not there yet, however, I believe I am me now and that is the reality for me. We always create and manifest our reality by what we feel and believe.

I have decided that it is time to be fucking ‘me’ and stop the exhausting process of stopping ‘me’ from being seen.

Why have I done that? Fear. The mind has dominated and is fear based unlike the real me which is love based from my heart. That is what is dominating now.

I have been fearful of offending others, fearful that no one will like the real me, fearful of being alone, fearful of not being loved, fearful of judgement, fearful of being told off, and fearful of the consequences…fearful of everything.

I am 55 and I am still fearful of being me, of speaking my truth, of worrying about others and I have had enough. It is fucking exhausting and is preventing the world from seeing my true soul and more importantly from me being me and all the joy and freedom that will give me.

My true essence, like all human souls, is love and when I show that and speak that from my heart the real me will be visible to the world. I am a warrior, a person who accepts what is but is not passive. Surrendering to what is and accepting all that is allows us peace within but we do not have to be passive and apathetic. We do not have to be a doormat and we do not have to be what others want us to be. That does not mean we have to be aggressive or confrontational either, we just have to be our true selves. When we are at peace within we can speak from the heart and we do not have to fear anything anymore.

I want to get off the fucking bus and stop going along with the crowd as that is what is fucking easy and comfortable. I am not a warrior in the normal sense of what we have been told to understand. I am not looking to go out and kill and be aggressive. I am looking to love, nurture, bring together, unite and protect what matters…to speak up without fear. I am looking to share my gift. I am choosing to be proud of being who I am, of being a man, of being a loving human. I want to be seen and understood for who I truly am and I want to see and understand others as they truly are.

I am the warrior who is brave enough to be vulnerable and to be brave enough to speak my truth, to set my boundaries, to be brave enough to face my biggest fears and see them as a gift to guide me on my path and to be brave enough to get off the bus.

Am I there? no. Will I always be perfectly truly me all the time? No, I won’t, I am a human, an emotional being, I will have feelings, I will have anger, I will have fear, I will have many things, and I will make choices that I will reflect on and see they weren’t what reflected the true me.

All I am saying is that I want to go on the journey to being me, to be more awake, to be more conscious, to choose love first, being first and not waiting, I want to use fear as my guide and not my inhibitor.

I am exhausted with taking everything that others and my mind say seriously, I am tired of having an opinion on everything based on fucking nothing other than my mind and its ego. I am tired of holding back my voice and not respecting myself. I am exhausted from analysing everything.

For those who may feel uncomfortable, I understand and for those who want to move on, I understand that too. I know that when I am true to my values, to my heart, to love and the real me that I will attract my people to my life and that is what I want. I will attract people who see me as I am and who love me without conditions. That is what love is, it comes from the heart and is without condition. It is our default.

I am here as this current carnation just once, I do not want to spend any more of that not being me. I am releasing my warrior spirit and I am saying to myself each day “take off those fucking shackles and show up as me”. It’s tough. But that’s OK.

Is it going to be easy? NO. Is there anything in life that matters that is easy or that is without sacrifice? No. We are here for a purpose and that purpose is to experience and to be truly who we are without the suffering of denying ourselves that. To share that.

I am releasing my warrior spirit, choosing to love myself fully and to be me…it feels truly fucking amazing!