Tag: soul

Male toxicity and what is wrong with that phrase

Posted on by philipdodson

I am proud of being a man, and I am not going to apologise for that, I am proud of my gender and I am proud to be a warrior (not a war-maker), a carer, and a nurturer. I am proud of who I am.

I will and always have, stood up for women, as I would stand up for any human soul regardless of their gender. It is not about equality, it is about balance and recognising and celebrating the differences between genders and not trying to make one the other. 

Women have a strong and powerful role to play as do men and we are similar and amazingly different too. That is neither a good nor bad thing, it simply is, and we do neither any good by trying to make them the same or judging each other. We can choose to recognise and support each other, celebrate our differences and seek to understand.

If we want change, we have to seek to understand the other first and we have to be the example. Men will not become different by being attacked, labelled judged, shamed and ostracised. Men do not have to become women, they do not have to start hating themselves and become apologists for others’ choices. 

If we all treat others with respect, empathy, compassion, love, kindness and understanding, then we will receive that in return. If we seek to do the right things, regardless of gender or any other difference between us and another human soul, then the human race becomes one and changes and inspires others without the need to criticise. 

For example, I have been a vegan and it just didn’t work for me personally. I now only eat animal products in a very limited amount and from ethical/responsible sources in a way that respects us, nature, and not in a harmful disrespectful way. I am not going to be motivated or anyone else by a vegan person judging my choices in a hateful and aggressive way labelling me as a ‘murderer’. 

Equally, as a respecter of women, a person who believes in everyone being treated with respect, as a person who stands up for women, and has always treated women respectfully, I am not happy with phrases such as ‘male toxicity’ as I would not be happy with the phrase ‘female toxicity’. 

These are judgemental, shaming and disrespectful phrases that actually only lead to the opposite of what the users of them perceive will be the response. These judgemental phrases are fear and anger based and are a way of lashing out in a critical, judgemental and unfounded way.

Respect others, accept others and treat people as the amazing human souls each and every one of us is. What can go wrong with that? Celebrate our differences, and be grateful that we are not all the same. 

Equally, be proud of who and what you are and do not allow others to tell you what you need to think, say or do. We all make wrong individual choices at the time, and we all act at the level of consciousness that we are at right now, we can’t act any other way. That does not excuse a poor individual choice, however, it does not give others the right to label and condemn us for that choice.

Let those who have not sinned cast the first stone or in another way, people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

We are all the one life and each one of us has our unique gifts and journey to experience. Let’s all move on from judgement and celebrate each other and support each other unconditionally.

What happens when we tell ourselves the wrong story?

Posted on by philipdodson

All of our lives we tell ourselves stories internally based on what we think or what others think about us, even though in the case of others we do not actually know what they think unless they tell us. We take what others say about us or do to us and then we create stories in our heads as to what we are, who we are, what we are like, what we are good at and most often, what we are not good at. We create these lenses of self-judgement and create whole stories based on them.

The common thing about these stories is that they are not true, they are based on the temporary mental creation of others and our own minds, with absolutely no substance to them whatsoever.

From these stories, we then create a self-image about ourselves and then we think, believe and act based on them. Total insanity.

Even more insane, we do this all our lives if we do not wake up to the fact that they are utter nonsense. 

We are what we believe we are and therefore, we have the choice as to what story we are going to tell ourselves and what we choose to take from others. It does not matter what others think we are or say we are, it does not matter what happened before, it is just the past, simply that and no longer relevant.

We are what we believe ourselves to be right now this moment and when we are conscious and awake, we are alive in this moment now. There is no need for any stories then or roles to act out. We are simply being, being our truer authentic self, which comes from our soul and is not something that comes from the mind or the views of others.

When we tell ourselves the wrong story, we live an unreal, false life, trapped within our minds and the minds of others. We live an inauthentic life and we suffer from not being.