Tag: reality

Quitting isn’t the answer

Posted on by philipdodson

If we are sitting here on a Sunday afternoon dreading tomorrow and a return to our work, instead of enjoying the moment, the view, the chilling and time to contemplate, then maybe it is time to make a change.

Change does not have to be quitting your job, it might be seeing our jobs and life through a new lens, one that sees what is rather than looking for what our minds want to see and believe about them.

Our reality is uniquely ours as we create it in our thought and beliefs, so how I see the world will be completely different to every single one of the other 8 billion humans.

If I dread Monday, not only do I numb myself to now, my real life, I create anxiety within me and when Monday does come, I do not enjoy it and wish I was elsewhere.

Quitting something however does not solve the problem as whatever is or was troubling us is our internal state which then manifests the external world, so unless we change the internal state, nothing will change from changing jobs, cars, houses, partners, clothes whatever else.

When we accept what is, when we become present in this moment, we can then react from a place of calm and peace, we can change how we choose to see the world and if we believe that the world is what we want to be then we can change how we see all things. That means that we can still quit our jobs if they are not nourishing our souls and if they are not what we truly want to be doing from our heart and soul.

Quitting isn’t the answer…learning our why and doing things from our heart is.

How do I speak to someone who I find it difficult to speak with?

Posted on by philipdodson

We often say ‘I am not sure how to handle this situation, I don’t know how to say “x” to her’. ‘I am worried about how she might take it’.

We are uncertain how to speak to someone, how to say the thing we have to say. We have formed an opinion of that person that he/she will react a certain way and, of course, when we believe that, then that is what it becomes…difficult.

This comes from the mind and its fear of how the person might react to what we say to them. It comes from the judgements we have made about that person and then our behaviours towards them reflect that, and naturally, we manifest the very thing that we feared.

We want to handle a challenge and we deep down want to speak our truth and be understood by this person, yet the mind sabotages that because of the psychological fear of their possible reaction and then we end up diluting what we wanted to say to avoid confrontation or we do not say it at all and continue to suffer from not speaking up or perhaps make a confrontational situation out of what we wanted to say and make it worse.

The thing is before speaking to anyone we have to do a simple thing. Imagine the person who is easiest to talk to and is unconditional in their love for us and we love them too unconditionally. Imagine it’s our best friend, daughter, partner or someone who we trust and value completely, a person we feel completely at ease with. How would we speak to them? We would speak to them from our heart, we would come from a place of love and we would not fear their reaction so we would be at peace. We would speak without agenda, judgement and fear, so they would receive it as we intend, from our heart.

The other thing is we need to be first, always be first, so we need to start by seeking to understand the other person first, we have to listen empathetically and hear them. We have to hear them without making any evaluation and then when we have truly understood them, we can speak our truth with love from our heart and without any attachment to an agenda of our minds.

We should treat everyone with love, empathy, trust and understanding. We need to make the other person feel that they are seen and we need to be the first to do, not waiting for others to be first. It has to be unconditional if we want to change our world. Everything reflects us.

The whole world is a reflection of us, we create our reality completely. If we want to be able to say something to another, we have to come from a place of love without judgement of them and their likely reaction.

If we start by being the first to listen and understand them, if we allow them to be seen, then when we speak our truth from our heart, they will more likely be able to understand us and allow us to be seen. Of course, their reaction is none of our business, however, it is the prejudging of others that creates what we believe them to be. In order to see people as they really are, we have to be the first to stop evaluating others.

Treat everyone the same, love them and trust them…be first.