‘There are no good or bad people that come to our lives. There are only teachers’, I think it was the Buddha that said that.

It’s a very interesting perspective, as many people cross our paths in our life, sometimes for just a moment, sometimes a few weeks, a few months, some years or maybe a lifetime. It is the mind that judges and labels people ‘good’ or ‘bad’ based on our lenses that we view the world through. What if we accepted that each person has something to teach us and looked for that instead?

If we step away from the judgement and choose to look out to the exterior world without evaluation, then we see people for the soul that they are, we hear the words they actually say, we appreciate what they teach us. We truly see them and become willing to appreciate what they can offer to guide us or be an example to us.

Everything in life is an experience, and an opportunity to learn something or to just appreciate the beauty of each new experience. When we stop the ‘good’ or ‘bad’ label we appreciate this amazing moment of life for what it is, and each and every moment. We appreciate others instead of judging them.

It’s our evaluations that stop us growing not good or bad people, they only teach if we allow ourselves to see it.

Pointing the finger

The moment we feel the need to judge others, is the moment we have stepped into the criticism mode, the mind has taken over. We are starting down the path of reaction, of starting to slip into the victim/punisher mode.

We are looking to blame someone, we are looking to justify our own irritation, anger, frustration, anxiety with ourselves…all the things that led us to judge in the first place.

Always the judger is actually judging themselves. It is never the other person, it is always something happening within us that has caused us to react in the first place to another person’s words or actions.

If we accept that it is always within us, if we realise it is never anyone else, then we can be at peace, we can let go of others behaviours, pause and move on. We do not have to worsen our own suffering by spreading it to others.

We may not agree with another person’s behaviour and we can still verbalise or take action externally in response, but if we accept within that it is our state that causes the reaction, then we suffer no more within and we stop pointing the finger towards another. We put our point across from a position of peace and without the need to judge them.