Critics

When we come from a place where we look for the good in what we do and see things how others see our work we start to get even better at what we do. When we start with kindness towards ourselves we change the internal narratives.

We have been conditioned to be our own biggest critic and that comes from the mind and its fears. Add to that the cultural norm of ‘you can do better’ mentality instilled in us from our formative years in order to satisfy the egos of others and to prepare us for a life of servitude to working for others. It creates a default reaction of self-criticism and it is a shield we put up to ‘protect’ ourselves from the perceived judgement of others. However, this behaviour only serves to affect our self-esteem and causes us to suffer within.

We never feel inspired or motivated after beating ourselves up.

However, if we choose to be our biggest fan instead then we are proud of our work and we grow in self-confidence and we feel good.

It inspires us to build on what we have already achieved and to look positively on what we have done not what we didn’t do or did badly in our eyes.

When we focus on what we did well we free ourselves from the negative energy of looking at what we think we did wrong.

Lastly, we are all already worthy of love and belonging from the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we go to sleep, no matter what we did or didn’t do that day.

If you can’t stand the heat…

I grew up with phrases like ‘if you can’t stand the heat get out the kitchen’, thanks to tough guys like Harry Truman who coined the phrase.

A macho bullshit line to basically say toughen up or you’re a loser if you can’t take the ‘heat’.

But being ‘tough’ is not the answer in some ‘put up with everything’ type environment allowing people to treat others badly. There is nothing clever, smart or tough about treating people like shit. It is just shit.

We will not ever be able to build an empathetic and people focused culture unless we move away from this being ‘tough’ mentality. It is about as appropriate to the world, as say, a steam powered loom would be now.

Getting the best from people comes from understanding not from ‘toughening’ them up and trampling all over their emotions and needs.

We do not need to subject people to ‘heat’. We need to create a safe, non-judgemental environment that inspires, supports and cares about them, allowing them to be vulnerable and open.