Today, is day where I nearly said ‘don’t do your blog, you’re tired, it’s been a long day’ and then I thought ‘but it’s nearly 6 years in just 3 days time to complete 6 years of continuous daily blogging!’.
That is my ego…that is me saying ‘must keep going no matter what’. However, I make the rules for my life, so I could just say ‘it’s late and leave it for tomorrow, because I’m writing this for the art, the craft, saying something that matters, not to just tick a box’.
The internal dialogue of the mind will argue this forever, if I let it, or I could just accept I wrote today’s blog, move on.
Nothing matters…it’s only the mind that creates all these dilemmas and drama to worry about.
Every day for 2,136 days, well 2,137 today, I have opened the ‘new post’ tab and I have been faced with a blank screen and until today, I have written something and published it.
“So what!’ I hear you say. The point isn’t the number of days, the point is that some days I have written immediately what I feel and sense, it flows and it’s not for me to judge whether it is any good or not, as that is completely subjective and in fact, it is only the mind that makes it either good or bad. Job done, hit the ‘publish’ button and move on.
Some days, the screen stays blank and then the mind starts, and the thinking starts, then the criticism, the doubt, the sabotage. The longer it goes, the harder it becomes to start and often I end up getting distracted, or actually deliberately going onto something else to avoid the showing up and doing today’s blog.
The thing is, always when we think the doing gets harder. When we allow the feelings flow from within and get started straight away then we enjoy the doing now.
Things are only hard if we make it so. Today, I allowed my mind to make this hard.