When we become our reaction then we see, hear or sense anything through the filter of the reaction.
We become unconscious within our mind and its reaction to the external world. We are unable to see others or the situation for what it is.
We deny what has occurred and continue to until we stop being the reaction and become conscious.
Before we react to someone or something, just pause before it consumes us and take a moment to breath and to be aware. That instant pause and acceptance allows inner peace and calm. We have become conscious and disassociated with our mind and ego.
We can then respond from a position of inner peace, calm and without any attachment to our response. The other person will then respond in the same way.
If we become our reaction others will mirror that.