Tag: Philip Dodson

Assumptions

Posted on by philipdodson

When we assume what others are thinking without knowing we make judgements and take action based on that evaluation. Often, without the faintest idea, we say ‘I know what they are thinking’. This is based on nothing but our prejudices.

We often stay in that mode even when we do ask them, as we are only seeing them through the filter of our own lens of judgement.

We have already decided what they will say as we want it to match our assumptions. Then we can say ‘see, I knew that’s what they were thinking/meaning/saying…I am right’.

True listening means without any evaluation, all we do is simply hear the words of the other. This is the only form of listening. It is only possible when we do not make up stories about others based on assumptions our mind has made to fit in with the story we hold about them.

It’s best not to create stories about others or ourselves either. It is best to hear and see people as they are and not as our mind wants us to see them. It changes communication completely when we see and understand the other person as they truly are.

Breaking the cycle

Posted on by philipdodson

We often get stuck in a rut in life. I have been recently struggling with getting up at a regular time and then sleeping heavily. This then means I miss an important time of the day when the world is still silent and there is a moment to complete my daily rituals that ground me, bring me into the day and help me to form habits in other parts of my life.

I used excuse upon excuse but I was causing myself great suffering because I was saying that  I will get up at 6 am and then not do it. That was bringing a lack of trust in myself, it was compromising my integrity, causing doubt, and negativity, and prohibiting me from doing the deeply meaningful work that I want to do.

Integrity is about doing what you say, not just with others, but more importantly with ourselves. We can not be true to others if we do not first become true to ourselves. Integrity is about doing what you say when no one else is there.

Of course, there are going to be times that we cannot always do what we say, circumstances mean that we have to change our plans sometimes and, of course, we can be compassionate and kind to ourselves when for whatever reason, we just do not show up.

However, if we make it a constant thing, that we say one thing and then do not do it, then we are harming ourselves and others. We are killing our own self-confidence and trust in ourselves to be authentic and to show up.

Our worth is not affected ever by what we do or don’t do, we are still worthy and worthy of love no matter what. However, we can bring a great deal more joy, purpose and energy to ourselves and others by living by what we say and by endeavouring to live an integral life.

It is better to not commit to something than it is to commit and then not do it. The best is always to commit and do it.