Tag: emotions

Acceptance is the first step

Posted on by philipdodson

There is always learning from every single moment and every single situation. There is never a good or bad moment, just what is.

It is only the human mind that labels things good or bad.

All we need to focus on is the present moment and always accepting it as it is. It is futile to do anything else as everything that has happened has, of course, already happened and is therefore unchangeable. All we can do is then choose how we react to anything. If we do it from a place of inner peace and acceptance, then there is no agenda, attachment or ego in our choice.

If we deny what is, that negative energy fighting against something that can not be changed then creates emotions and we become the reaction. We act from a place that is emotional, negative and driven by our ego.

The reaction back from the world will reflect that, the same as when we act from inner peace, the reaction back from the world will also reflect that. However, this time it will be one that is positive.

All of this is easy to say and write and very hard to practice as we are conditioned to react to things that we believe are a threat to the story of ‘me’ and the ego will do whatever it takes to protect itself from any perceived threat.

It takes a brave first step to change, we have to be the ones to take that first step and not wait for the other to change. When we take a small step it is easy, when we try to make giant leaps it is hard.

Just a step to say ‘I accept what is’ and take a slow and deep breath. Then we can take another small step…how will I react? Already, that momentary pause will allow the initial condition reaction to have lost its energy and the more we observe it rather than become it, the quicker it will pass.

The steps are one by one and acceptance is the first one.

Brave communication

Posted on by philipdodson

We need to all be brave enough to have the difficult conversations in our lives otherwise miscommunication, resentment and shame continue to dominate our interactions as humans.

It means that we have to be brave enough to listen, as well as speak, and most importantly, when we feel uncomfortable and feel the urge to be silent or walk away.

We need to be brave enough to understand others first and to allow them to be seen. Understanding others and allowing them to be seen is the most powerfully part of communication, how can we respond if we do not understand the other person?

We need courage in being able to receive feedback too, even if the other person may be struggling with how to tell us. If we assume that it comes from a place of good intention, then there is something in there for us to learn.

We need to be brave in creating a space where others can feel safe in expressing themselves, even if they are like all of us, they may struggle to express themselves well. That doesn’t mean that they are not valid. Of course, we can ask for time to consider and we do not have to accept unkind choices of behaviour by others.

Communication is one of the hardest things we have to do as humans. It is the thing that, amazingly, we are never taught. Our role models such as parents, teachers and other leaders are also struggling with communication too so they show us bad examples mainly.

It perpetuates until we are all collectively brave enough to be able to speak truthfully from our hearts in a kind, compassionate and empathetic way. When we are able to have the courage to have the hard conversations and not shy away from them because it is painful for us, then we can start to make lasting changes in how we as humans communicate with each other.

We have to be first to demonstrate this courage and lead by example, not by telling others that they are doing wrong.

Out and out bare ‘truth’ is damaging, when it is really other emotions and shaming dressed up as just being honest. Even if we perceive our ‘truth’ to be accurate we should be brave enough not to use that in a harmful and unkind way.