What now? Talking it out in public

What now?

I have been doing this blog every single day continuously for over six and half years, 2,407 days as of yesterday without missing a day. I have become stale and questioning whether to continue or not. This already feels like some drama that would normally play out on Facebook ‘please like my blog’ or ‘I hope people say ‘continue, we couldn’t cope without your blog”. But I have always liked talking out loud on my blog page, as most often, my blogs are really me giving myself a talking to.

I was originally inspired to do a daily blog by one of my heroes at the time, Seth Godin, who had been doing a daily blog for years and is still going strong today. I thought, laughing as I type, I’d be the next ‘Seth’ a bit like all the wannabe entrepreneurs are all going to be the next Google or whatever…and of course, some are.

I didn’t quite make Seth’s level of blogging in terms of fame, followers, and likes. But then I realised Seth Godin is a little bit more than just his blog!!!

I realise that if I want to be famous, which I do not, then it takes a lot more than blogging and it takes a completely different set of values to mine…no judgement here.

I used to write a daily writing journal too, on 750words, where you had to write 750 words minimum a day to get a tick in the box, and years later, and many million words I stopped doing it. I realised I was mainly doing it for the badges, yes they cleverly gamified it, and my ego, to tell others how amazing I was at commitment and writing blah blah blah! Look at me!! Also, in my newfound more spiritual self, laughing again as I type, like I’m the Buddha, that I was using the daily journal to just spit out all the ramblings and negative repeating thought patterns spinning in my head onto the screen of my online journal. So effectively energising the madness in my head further and prohibiting me from being in the moment more.

I wonder now if I am doing my blog for the ego, fearful now to stop, wanting to keep going for the bragging and for the internal glory of commitment and ‘I’m making a difference’.

Perhaps I feel I’ve said all I can, perhaps I’m fearful of making it more successful, and perhaps I’m not prepared to do the hard work it takes to get more noticed. After all, fear of success is a common sabotaging process of the mind. Perhaps, I’m fearful of writing more from my heart, less sitting on the fence and more being just me. Taking off the shackles.

Anyway, I’ve done another daily blog, hit publish, and move on. Will I be back tomorrow? Well, no one knows the future but I feel better for talking this out.

What is listening?

We want to be heard, we want our view to be listened to, we want our view to be right, we want others to understand us, we want to be the focus…It’s all about our story, our views, our experiences, our day, our woes and so on.

Amazingly, so does everyone else. Therein lies the challenge…everyone wants to be understood and understood before anyone else. We want to be first, of course, that is what our ego wants. We think listening is for others.

If you stop and observe most human interaction it is a group of talking bodies all trying to be heard, some waiting but only so they can jump in with their point. Then some just plainly not even bothering to hide their disinterest until it’s their turn. All are not actually hearing the other, they are all just thinking ‘how does this affect me’ or thinking what they want to say next. It is a collection of unconscious human minds all driven by their egos talking at each other.

It is no surprise that human communication is often not very good and is painful for most. It isn’t creating more understanding, there is more misinformation, miscommunication and misunderstanding than ever. All in our silos and bubbles of our own opinions never hearing another.

Maybe if we choose to understand the other person first, perhaps listening first, perhaps observing another without the need to label and judge them, without the need to evaluate how it affects us and our story. Maybe we could simply observe without evaluation and simply hear their words and absorb them, not just awaiting to speak.

Listening isn’t thinking time of what to say next or to think about other things. Listening is silently observing and understanding another human soul with no agenda or purpose other than to understand another first. To respect another soul and hear them not through the filters of our mind but to consciously hear them now with our minds clear.

Amazingly, when we listen and truly understand another first, they are more willing to understand us and a connection is made between two or more souls and not a disconnection of fighting and hostile unconscious minds that we mistakingly think is conversation and communication.

Understanding is about empathy and empathy requires listening with no evaluation.