Back with an old friend

After 6 1/2 years of continuous daily blogging, that’s over 2,400 blogs without missing a day, I decided to take a break in April. I’ve been back a few times, but I’ve certainly dropped or lost the daily habit. It has been good having a break and I was getting a little stale, just bashing out the posts to keep the streak going. I was doing it for the ego and not the love.

I have been reading a few of my old posts and that has sparked the bug again, it’s like being back with an old friend that you haven’t seen in years but the love is still there no matter what.

I have missed my blog and that is a good thing, I think before I had taken it for granted just how much joy this daily exercise in writing gave to me. It is a period of time where I am in the moment, I am sharing my thoughts, my wisdom, my experience, and most often, I am talking to myself, giving myself advice. It is the joy of doing and not the outcome. If you take regular daily steps then you get to the outcome anyway and you avoid the suffering of thinking about the big picture which is too daunting.

Of course, like most of us, we are good at giving advice and poor at taking it or acting on it, especially our own. We are not good at eating our own dog food.

I actually do this blog for the joy of it and I genuinely do not mind if no one else reads it, that is the best way to be, I write for my own pleasure and you could say ‘well, just write in a paper journal or an online journal and don’t bother publishing it’ and, to be honest, there is something in that. I did do 6 plus years of daily journaling, which was never published.

However, I do know that many people over the years have also enjoyed reading my blog, so if you have something to say, and we all do, then it is definitely worth sharing it.

Until we share our work, it is not created, it is not born, by hitting that ‘publish’ button we are actually stepping over the divide from thought and fear to creating, and that is a step not to be underestimated, in terms of how it builds our confidence and habit of showing up and being brave enough to ‘step into the ring and dare to be great’ (Brene Brown).

It could ramble on some more, but that is it for today…it’s great to be back with an old friend.

What now? Talking it out in public

What now?

I have been doing this blog every single day continuously for over six and half years, 2,407 days as of yesterday without missing a day. I have become stale and questioning whether to continue or not. This already feels like some drama that would normally play out on Facebook ‘please like my blog’ or ‘I hope people say ‘continue, we couldn’t cope without your blog”. But I have always liked talking out loud on my blog page, as most often, my blogs are really me giving myself a talking to.

I was originally inspired to do a daily blog by one of my heroes at the time, Seth Godin, who had been doing a daily blog for years and is still going strong today. I thought, laughing as I type, I’d be the next ‘Seth’ a bit like all the wannabe entrepreneurs are all going to be the next Google or whatever…and of course, some are.

I didn’t quite make Seth’s level of blogging in terms of fame, followers, and likes. But then I realised Seth Godin is a little bit more than just his blog!!!

I realise that if I want to be famous, which I do not, then it takes a lot more than blogging and it takes a completely different set of values to mine…no judgement here.

I used to write a daily writing journal too, on 750words, where you had to write 750 words minimum a day to get a tick in the box, and years later, and many million words I stopped doing it. I realised I was mainly doing it for the badges, yes they cleverly gamified it, and my ego, to tell others how amazing I was at commitment and writing blah blah blah! Look at me!! Also, in my newfound more spiritual self, laughing again as I type, like I’m the Buddha, that I was using the daily journal to just spit out all the ramblings and negative repeating thought patterns spinning in my head onto the screen of my online journal. So effectively energising the madness in my head further and prohibiting me from being in the moment more.

I wonder now if I am doing my blog for the ego, fearful now to stop, wanting to keep going for the bragging and for the internal glory of commitment and ‘I’m making a difference’.

Perhaps I feel I’ve said all I can, perhaps I’m fearful of making it more successful, and perhaps I’m not prepared to do the hard work it takes to get more noticed. After all, fear of success is a common sabotaging process of the mind. Perhaps, I’m fearful of writing more from my heart, less sitting on the fence and more being just me. Taking off the shackles.

Anyway, I’ve done another daily blog, hit publish, and move on. Will I be back tomorrow? Well, no one knows the future but I feel better for talking this out.