What do words mean?

What a person says could be very small, what we think about what the person said is usually very large and literally, in some cases, last for years after the words were uttered. What they said was maybe one or two words, what we read into it was a whole book.

We attach so much to words, words that often come from the ramblings of another person’s unconscious thought train and then we analyse them, dissect them, and think about all the possible meanings there could be to what they said. We take everything said about us or to us by others so seriously. When like everything in life, they do not matter unless we choose to make them matter.

They might have just said ‘good morning’ but our own internal pain bodies will latch onto that and they will see a meaning in it that wasn’t there. Our prejudgements about a particular person will cloud what they actually say in a fog of thoughts and preconceived notions…we will even analyse things as they are said not often even hearing what they said. Our mind often makes up what was said to suit its stories. Then after we question even the tone of their voice. There wasn’t actually a ‘tone’ that was wrong but that is what our mind heard regardless.

As with everything, what is reality, is what we believe it to be.

If we believe the world and everyone in it are out to get us, then they are, as that is all we will see and believe. What we believe gets manifested.

What people say is a collection of simple vibrations formed into words that we and society have attached a meaning to. We choose how to receive and react to those words. They’re just sounds and it is our mind that chooses to attach suffering to them or not.

Lastly, where has all this endless analysis ever got us? Nowhere, other than suffering and bad relationships. Also, this is before we even start on the written words in texts, WhatsApp messages, social media posts and emails. That’s off-the-charts analysis!

What is listening?

We want to be heard, we want our view to be listened to, we want our view to be right, we want others to understand us, we want to be the focus…It’s all about our story, our views, our experiences, our day, our woes and so on.

Amazingly, so does everyone else. Therein lies the challenge…everyone wants to be understood and understood before anyone else. We want to be first, of course, that is what our ego wants. We think listening is for others.

If you stop and observe most human interaction it is a group of talking bodies all trying to be heard, some waiting but only so they can jump in with their point. Then some just plainly not even bothering to hide their disinterest until it’s their turn. All are not actually hearing the other, they are all just thinking ‘how does this affect me’ or thinking what they want to say next. It is a collection of unconscious human minds all driven by their egos talking at each other.

It is no surprise that human communication is often not very good and is painful for most. It isn’t creating more understanding, there is more misinformation, miscommunication and misunderstanding than ever. All in our silos and bubbles of our own opinions never hearing another.

Maybe if we choose to understand the other person first, perhaps listening first, perhaps observing another without the need to label and judge them, without the need to evaluate how it affects us and our story. Maybe we could simply observe without evaluation and simply hear their words and absorb them, not just awaiting to speak.

Listening isn’t thinking time of what to say next or to think about other things. Listening is silently observing and understanding another human soul with no agenda or purpose other than to understand another first. To respect another soul and hear them not through the filters of our mind but to consciously hear them now with our minds clear.

Amazingly, when we listen and truly understand another first, they are more willing to understand us and a connection is made between two or more souls and not a disconnection of fighting and hostile unconscious minds that we mistakingly think is conversation and communication.

Understanding is about empathy and empathy requires listening with no evaluation.