Tag: consciousness

Why did I stop writing?

Posted on by philipdodson

I used to blog every single day for literally 6 years or more. Then in March this year, after a few months of struggling to write every day, I stopped completely. It’s been a long time now since I have blogged, the longest break in all my years of writing.

Why did I stop writing?

I told myself nonsense. I listened to the mind and all its sabotage. I choose to allow myself to believe the stories that I have been making up all my life. I said ‘What’s the point?’ and stuff like ‘it’s rubbish’ and ‘no one cares’.

To be honest, it doesn’t matter if nobody cares or it’s ‘rubbish’ as I realised a long time ago, I am actually writing for myself and if someone else benefits too, then great, but if not it really does not matter. I lost sight of that and my ego and mind became active again.

I started to listen and analyse everything which was present not just in my writing but also in my life. I had slipped heavily back into my unconscious mind and all its repeating mind streams.

I had slipped back to moaning, judging, complaining, and the stories of ‘poor little me’. All of this only leads to suffering and we seem to be completely OK with inflicting this upon ourselves on a daily basis.

Have I gone back to just being and floating on my cloud like Buddha? No…I was not there before. What’s different now is I am not kidding myself that I am there. When we create this persona that we are ‘spiritual’ or ‘enlightened’ or ‘transformed’ we are exactly not that and we have just replaced one self-image with another in our unconsciousness.

What I am now is free of the burden of pretending to be something I am not and that feels great and that’s why I am writing again.

The future is scary

Posted on by philipdodson

It’s the joy of the doing in this moment and not the outcome that matters.

When we give our energy and thought to the outcome then we enter the psychological time dimension of the future and all that brings is uncertainty as it is not real, it is just in our mind. So we suffer psychological fear which we can not deal with now. Present-moment fear we can deal with now, but fear of what might be is suffering.

When we just do, we actually enjoy it now, step by step, free from the fear of the outcome so we create our best. All of our energy and focus on the doing and, of course, each small step is a step nearer to the destination but without needing to keep looking at the map, we are just enjoying the road immediately in front of us.

Future is just a mental construct, but if we want to have a particular future, we can only have it now as when we get to any future moment, it will be still now. Now is the only time and when we stay away from the mind-made time dimensions of both past and future then we step away from suffering.

What we do now is the future we will have and if we do it now, it is not scary. The fear comes from thoughts of beyond now.

If we are present, then what we do is free from fear as we have not imagined an outcome that we can fear not achieving, all we experience is the pure joy of each tiny step. We create better when we are conscious.

We create very little of our truly amazing potential when we are consumed with thoughts of what might be.

Just be, just do and the future will take care of itself.