Breaking the cycle

We often get stuck in a rut in life. I have been recently struggling with getting up at a regular time and then sleeping heavily. This then means I miss an important time of the day when the world is still silent and there is a moment to complete my daily rituals that ground me, bring me into the day and help me to form habits in other parts of my life.

I used excuse upon excuse but I was causing myself great suffering because I was saying that  I will get up at 6 am and then not do it. That was bringing a lack of trust in myself, it was compromising my integrity, causing doubt, and negativity, and prohibiting me from doing the deeply meaningful work that I want to do.

Integrity is about doing what you say, not just with others, but more importantly with ourselves. We can not be true to others if we do not first become true to ourselves. Integrity is about doing what you say when no one else is there.

Of course, there are going to be times that we cannot always do what we say, circumstances mean that we have to change our plans sometimes and, of course, we can be compassionate and kind to ourselves when for whatever reason, we just do not show up.

However, if we make it a constant thing, that we say one thing and then do not do it, then we are harming ourselves and others. We are killing our own self-confidence and trust in ourselves to be authentic and to show up.

Our worth is not affected ever by what we do or don’t do, we are still worthy and worthy of love no matter what. However, we can bring a great deal more joy, purpose and energy to ourselves and others by living by what we say and by endeavouring to live an integral life.

It is better to not commit to something than it is to commit and then not do it. The best is always to commit and do it.

A difficult path always leads us to where we want to go in life

A difficult path always leads us to where we want to go in life.

Our lack of confidence in ourselves leads us to overthink and analyse everything, to the point that it becomes exhausting and causes us to suffer a great deal.

When we are constantly worried about the reactions to our actions it paralyses us and leads us to act in a way that is not true to ourselves. We say and do things or we don’t say or do things to avoid being in the limelight and to stay safe as we see it.

This prohibition of showing our real selves causes more suffering as we always feel like we are holding back and our soul wants to speak out and share its truth, but the mind fears the reactions. It creates sabotage and excuses as to why we should not be true to ourselves.

When we act in a non-authentic way to minimise what we fear will be others’ reactions to us, we actually create a further lessening of self-confidence as people are not comfortable with our lack, we are not showing our real selves, so that actually causes people to move away from us more. They sense our lack of confidence and then we feel their reaction to us and it only goes to confirm the stories in our minds of not being worthy, not being liked and not being loved.

It becomes a vicious circle, a self-fulfilling prophecy. We create a worsening of our own self-confidence based on our starting position of uncertainty and fear.

It is a challenging loop to break, it takes a great deal of bravery and a willingness to be vulnerable and not fear others’ reactions to our truth. Of course, our truth needs to be shared with empathy, kindness and compassion. However, our truth will come from our heart and therefore, it will always come from a place of love.

This is all easily written here in a blog and a great deal harder to practice in real life. I struggle with it and have come to realise, like any practice, we have to build it step by step, day by day, moment by moment and the more we practice the easier it becomes and the stronger our confidence will come.

When we speak our truth some will, of course, move on and not feel comfortable with it. However, our people will be attracted to our truth and that is what matters. Equally, we will be able to love ourselves fully for being vulnerable, willing to show up and to live a life of integrity.

Again, this is not an easy thing, however, vulnerability is meant to be difficult because anything that requires commitment and bravery will always lead us to the things that truly matter in life. There is a warrior spirit in us all, a loving, nurturing, strong and caring one, that when it rises will help us to be able to become our true selves, to be authentic and to share our light and gifts with the world.

A difficult path always leads to where we want to go in life.