Whatever others choose to do it can only affect us if we choose it to.
Our mind and its stories about ‘little me’ and our ego are delicate fragile things that the mind will easily create a victim story from and then bring us pain and suffering. Once we energise it and give it attention, then the mind will drag us to the next thing.
If we choose to accept others and what is, then we will not become the victim. We can still verbalise outwardly our view, but without the pain and attachment to the victim story what we verbalise will be from a position of calm and peace.
Anger is driven from the sadness and pain that the ego creates. Once we become the story the mind will continue to bring more suffering. Often, it becomes so normal that we become the identity and the mind does everything then to keep that going as we feel it is who we are, we live the life of a victim.
Peace comes from acceptance and conscious awareness that what others do or say is not our business and we can only suffer if we allow ourselves to and identify with the stories in our mind.
My dog, Cookie, has a great life. For her it is always now, always the present moment, there is no projection into the future, care-free, no repeating mind patterns, no opinions of herself or me or others, no judgements, just unconditional love.
Amazing though as humans we look at animals and say things like ‘oh it must be boring’ or ‘it’s tough for animals’ and so on. Of course, any living soul has its challenges and for animals, they have to seek food to survive. Well Cookie doesn’t, she simply looks cute, scratches at the cupboard door where her food is kept, and boom, there is another sachet of dog food.
Animals, if they maybe look at us, might say ‘look at those humans, off to work, stuck in traffic, always wanting more and suffering all their lives from their minds’. Cookie doesn’t lay there on the sofa anxiously thinking ‘oh, that was the last sachet of food in the box, what if they don’t go to the shops, I’ll starve, I might even die’ or ‘him, the big one he’s not working, what if they can’t afford to buy more food?’ and so on. She sleeps soundly on the sofa enjoying the moment with inner peace.
Humans live mainly in the unreal unconscious dimension of the mind and its endless thought patterns and resulting suffering, never appreciating this moment and the joy of it. Animals live in the conscious real-world dimension of now, free from the burden of thought and interestingly we can choose to live in that dimension too.