When we live our lives trying to second guess what others might think or like, we live a life dominated by our mind and we suffer.
If we choose to live doing what feels right to us, what we believe, what we feel, what pleases us, then we end the suffering within and we end the suffering for others too. We are spontaneous and we do what comes naturally, we do not have to keep trying to do what we think will please others.
Just be, just be ourselves, be true to our feelings and live the life we want.
The moment we feel the need to judge others, is the moment we have stepped into the criticism mode, the mind has taken over. We are starting down the path of reaction, of starting to slip into the victim/punisher mode.
We are looking to blame someone, we are looking to justify our own irritation, anger, frustration, anxiety with ourselves…all the things that led us to judge in the first place.
Always the judger is actually judging themselves. It is never the other person, it is always something happening within us that has caused us to react in the first place to another person’s words or actions.
If we accept that it is always within us, if we realise it is never anyone else, then we can be at peace, we can let go of others behaviours, pause and move on. We do not have to worsen our own suffering by spreading it to others.
We may not agree with another person’s behaviour and we can still verbalise or take action externally in response, but if we accept within that it is our state that causes the reaction, then we suffer no more within and we stop pointing the finger towards another. We put our point across from a position of peace and without the need to judge them.