Tag: evaluation

It’s their fault

Posted on by philipdodson

We think it is other people, but it is all ourselves.

We choose how to react to others, we choose everything.

No one forces us to behave in any way at all, we choose every time.

When we look within for the answers life changes, when we seek to be a victim or blame others or situations, we get stuck in the smallness of our thinking mind.

When we look within we find the answers and we become accountable and take responsibility for our behaviour and choices. We then start to make choices from our truth, values and heart. We then choose to behave in an openhearted and kind way, with empathy, and understanding. We choose to see the other person and respect them.

It does not mean we have to agree with everyone or not have an opinion or voice of our own. It means that we act authentically, empathetically and free from any agendas, our ego and judgement.

When we blame others we are actually point the same finger out our behaviour.

Assumptions

Posted on by philipdodson

When we assume what others are thinking without knowing we make judgements and take action based on that evaluation. Often, without the faintest idea, we say ‘I know what they are thinking’. This is based on nothing but our prejudices.

We often stay in that mode even when we do ask them, as we are only seeing them through the filter of our own lens of judgement.

We have already decided what they will say as we want it to match our assumptions. Then we can say ‘see, I knew that’s what they were thinking/meaning/saying…I am right’.

True listening means without any evaluation, all we do is simply hear the words of the other. This is the only form of listening. It is only possible when we do not make up stories about others based on assumptions our mind has made to fit in with the story we hold about them.

It’s best not to create stories about others or ourselves either. It is best to hear and see people as they are and not as our mind wants us to see them. It changes communication completely when we see and understand the other person as they truly are.