We have to be understanding to others as no one is exactly on our page they are on their own unique page…maybe close to ours but maybe further away too. That doesn’t matter.
No ones page is right our wrong, it’s just different. We have to accept that, If we can’t accept others as they currently are we won’t be accepting of ourselves and that only leads to suffering and disconnection.
No one person will ever be exactly what we want, so we have to be compassionate or accept we’ll be alone.
We have to cherish what connects us not what separates us. We are conditioned to catch people doing something wrong not thanking them for what they do right.
We are all at different parts of our journeys and no ones is better or worse, just different.
However, if we have high expectations of others to match our rules or exacting expectations then no one will ever be good enough.
We have to be prepared to be flexible and compassionate or face the consequences of being too harsh with ourselves and others.
We need to all be brave enough to have the difficult conversations in our lives otherwise miscommunication, resentment and shame continue to dominate our interactions as humans.
It means that we have to be brave enough to listen, as well as speak, and most importantly, when we feel uncomfortable and feel the urge to be silent or walk away.
We need to be brave enough to understand others first and to allow them to be seen. Understanding others and allowing them to be seen is the most powerfully part of communication, how can we respond if we do not understand the other person?
We need courage in being able to receive feedback too, even if the other person may be struggling with how to tell us. If we assume that it comes from a place of good intention, then there is something in there for us to learn.
We need to be brave in creating a space where others can feel safe in expressing themselves, even if they are like all of us, they may struggle to express themselves well. That doesn’t mean that they are not valid. Of course, we can ask for time to consider and we do not have to accept unkind choices of behaviour by others.
Communication is one of the hardest things we have to do as humans. It is the thing that, amazingly, we are never taught. Our role models such as parents, teachers and other leaders are also struggling with communication too so they show us bad examples mainly.
It perpetuates until we are all collectively brave enough to be able to speak truthfully from our hearts in a kind, compassionate and empathetic way. When we are able to have the courage to have the hard conversations and not shy away from them because it is painful for us, then we can start to make lasting changes in how we as humans communicate with each other.
We have to be first to demonstrate this courage and lead by example, not by telling others that they are doing wrong.
Out and out bare ‘truth’ is damaging, when it is really other emotions and shaming dressed up as just being honest. Even if we perceive our ‘truth’ to be accurate we should be brave enough not to use that in a harmful and unkind way.
Philip Dodson 