Tag: Attention

Unconditional

Posted on by philipdodson

We talk about this concept of unconditional when it comes to love. But that is crazy, as love is our true self, essence, and soulful state of being. Our soul is pure love.

The idea that there is a need to define it as unconditional is the same as when we say ‘I like animals’ as if that is something special. Why wouldn’t you like animals!!! Or ‘I really like children’…again WTF, why wouldn’t you like children??? It isn’t something special it is default innate behaviour.

The same with love, there isn’t conditional love, that’s just mind-created manipulation. To take ‘love’ away as a punishment is all part of our unconscious mind-driven behaviour patterns. It is not understanding what love is. Need infatuation and attention seeking from others is not love. Lustful desires are not love.

Love isn’t an emotion it is our essence of what we are and can’t be taken away. If you want to see love, spend time with a dog. They show you love no matter what and it is not for gain it is their default soulful behaviour, well maybe they’re after a biscuit sometimes!

Understanding without filters

Posted on by philipdodson

We all have a deep need to be seen and understood. Yet we spend so little time understanding others.

We are wrapped up in our needs and we have this expectation that others are seeing us as important. We expect others to understand us, but we are not prepared to understand them.

Equally, we do not communicate with others, we isolate ourselves, close ourselves off and then still expect others to understand us.

It is always better to start from a position of no expectation of others, it stops us from becoming disappointed and releases them from the burden of our expectations.

We have to be first to understand others and that requires us to listen. Listening is a challenge for us all as we are not taught how to listen properly. True listening is being silent, listening to the other person from our hearts and listening to them how we would want others to listen to us…fully and completely without judgement, evaluation or interruption. Listening isn’t about a pause for us to think about what to say next, it isn’t about evaluating what the other person is saying, it isn’t about us or how it might affect us.

People want to be heard and seen not told and fixed. They do not want to hear about our story or for their story to be judged or corrected. Their truth is theirs, and their story is theirs. We are not the arbiter of that, or the person to correct what we have judged to be wrong about it. Our role is to listen to them empathetically and from a place of love, allowing them to be seen and know that they have been understood.

It is one soul seeing the soul of another and connecting with them as one without the filters of our minds.