Tag: self image

The stories we make up about ourselves

Posted on by philipdodson

The stories we make up about ourselves, this is a follow-up from the stories we make up about others.

Yesterday I blogged about the stories we make up about others and how they create suffering for ourselves and others.

Well, there are also the stories that we make up about ourselves, and these are the most corrosive and create great suffering within us and for others too.

What we tell ourselves affects greatly our self-worth and when we do not feel worthy, it affects everything in our lives. Worthiness is not a conditional thing, we are born worthy and we die worthy…no matter what, there are no conditions to that.

As I talked about in earlier posts when we a loving to ourselves, when we are kind to ourselves, and when we give these things to ourselves, we can feel worthy. If someone does not love us, see our value or question us that does not change our worth at all. Our soul is ours and no one else’s to judge or question, our worthiness is not open for debate.

However, based on other people’s words and actions we create these stories about ourselves that corrode our self-worth. We tell ourselves these falsehoods about ourselves.

Brene Brown sums this up brilliantly in a section about learning to rise in her great book ‘Dare to Lead’  she says:

“The three most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our lovability, divinity, and creativity.

The reality check around our lovability: Just because someone isn’t willing or able to love us, it doesn’t mean that we are unlovable.

The reality check around our divinity: No person is ordained to judge our divinity or to write the story of our spiritual worthiness.

The reality check around our creativity: Just because we didn’t measure up to some standard of achievement doesn’t mean that we don’t possess gifts and talents that only we can bring to the world. And just because someone failed to see the value in what we can create or achieve doesn’t change its worth or ours.“

We don’t need to tell ourselves any stories, the truth is we are worthy and lovable…no conditions.

Our opinion of ourselves

Posted on by philipdodson

We will never rise above the opinion we hold of ourselves.

The only way is to change our opinion to the level our soul desires and not what our mind restricts us to.

It is a simple fact that what we believe we are capable of doing or what we believe we are, is what we can do and what we become.

To change it isn’t easy, it’s a challenge and something that I have struggled with for most of my life.

The journey to changing starts with small steps, like anything one at a time, to replace negative thoughts about ourselves, simply say ‘no don’t want that’ when they come and then at the same time say something positive about ourselves to replace the negative thought.

Gradually, we start to form a habit of positive thought and by not energising the negative, we create space for creativity and positive beliefs that turn into positive action.

The other thing to do is to be more grateful for what we have and to take more time to create more joy in our life. When we feel joyful we feel better about ourselves and become more creative and increase our level of opinion about ourselves.

Like any change it is not about feeling broken, as no one is, it is about wanting to become even better.