Tag: other people

What do words mean?

Posted on by philipdodson

What a person says could be very small, what we think about what the person said is usually very large and literally, in some cases, last for years after the words were uttered. What they said was maybe one or two words, what we read into it was a whole book.

We attach so much to words, words that often come from the ramblings of another person’s unconscious thought train and then we analyse them, dissect them, and think about all the possible meanings there could be to what they said. We take everything said about us or to us by others so seriously. When like everything in life, they do not matter unless we choose to make them matter.

They might have just said ‘good morning’ but our own internal pain bodies will latch onto that and they will see a meaning in it that wasn’t there. Our prejudgements about a particular person will cloud what they actually say in a fog of thoughts and preconceived notions…we will even analyse things as they are said not often even hearing what they said. Our mind often makes up what was said to suit its stories. Then after we question even the tone of their voice. There wasn’t actually a ‘tone’ that was wrong but that is what our mind heard regardless.

As with everything, what is reality, is what we believe it to be.

If we believe the world and everyone in it are out to get us, then they are, as that is all we will see and believe. What we believe gets manifested.

What people say is a collection of simple vibrations formed into words that we and society have attached a meaning to. We choose how to receive and react to those words. They’re just sounds and it is our mind that chooses to attach suffering to them or not.

Lastly, where has all this endless analysis ever got us? Nowhere, other than suffering and bad relationships. Also, this is before we even start on the written words in texts, WhatsApp messages, social media posts and emails. That’s off-the-charts analysis!

What will happen if I don’t listen?

Posted on by philipdodson

There is always something to say, and we all have a unique journey and much to share with others. Our learning is unique to us as we are all uniquely different and what works for one does not necessarily fit another’s path. However, there are similar experiences that we all have and we can share learning and if wanted, we can share advice with others.

It is the unsolicited ‘fixing’ others type advice that is not what we want, we want people to understand us, not to tell us what happened to them. We are not interested and we want others to listen. We have to always seek first to understand, then to be understood. We have to be the first to stop the telling and do the listening.

Listening is not pausing to think about what we are going to say next. We have to listen to others in the way that we would want others to listen to us. Listening is something that we are poor at as humans, we are good at talking and mainly about ourselves.

There is one certainty, people who feel understood are more likely to listen to you and understand you. However, we can’t wait for them to listen, we have to be the one that takes the first step.

Whatever we want in life, we have to be the first. If we want more love, then we have to love more, if we want more trust, we have to trust more, if we want more hugs, we have to hug more, if we want more respect, we have to show more respect, if we want people to understand us, we have to understand more.

It is that simple, it always starts with us and we manifest the exterior world from how we choose to act. The world is how we choose to see it and is always a reflection of ourselves. We have to be brave enough to be the ones to change first.

Try it…see what happens, even within a few days.

There is an indigenous saying from North America ‘listen or your tongue will make you deaf’ and that is what will happen if you don’t listen.