Tag: inspiration

Zealots

Posted on by philipdodson

When we become super enthused by something, especially when it makes a big difference to us, when we feel like it is a great revelation…like the eureka moment that answers everything for us, we then become evangelical.

However, often and with good intentions, we want to bring this to others so much that we lose sight of that just because it was our revelation or realisation that it must be for others too. We make the assumption that others are experiencing or needing the same as us.

What can happen is that our fervent desire to adhere to something can lead us to become a zealot. Our zealous beliefs lead us to become completely inflexible, we lose the ability to understand others and instead of being inspiringly evangelical about something we become harsh and repel others. 

When we lose the ability to see others and accept that they are on their own path and journey, which is not ours to alter, interfere with or judge, then we lose connection and our inflexibility becomes an inhibitor to ourselves.

When we become zealous we lose our ability to be compassionate and most importantly with ourselves, which is then reflected in how we treat others.

Often the resistance that we receive from others only magnifies our own zealous and inflexible behaviour further. We must learn to be compassionate with ourselves if we are to break out of this cycle.

Kindness to ourselves is vital otherwise when we become a zealot with ourselves we significantly impact our self-worth.

The stories we make up about ourselves

Posted on by philipdodson

The stories we make up about ourselves, this is a follow-up from the stories we make up about others.

Yesterday I blogged about the stories we make up about others and how they create suffering for ourselves and others.

Well, there are also the stories that we make up about ourselves, and these are the most corrosive and create great suffering within us and for others too.

What we tell ourselves affects greatly our self-worth and when we do not feel worthy, it affects everything in our lives. Worthiness is not a conditional thing, we are born worthy and we die worthy…no matter what, there are no conditions to that.

As I talked about in earlier posts when we a loving to ourselves, when we are kind to ourselves, and when we give these things to ourselves, we can feel worthy. If someone does not love us, see our value or question us that does not change our worth at all. Our soul is ours and no one else’s to judge or question, our worthiness is not open for debate.

However, based on other people’s words and actions we create these stories about ourselves that corrode our self-worth. We tell ourselves these falsehoods about ourselves.

Brene Brown sums this up brilliantly in a section about learning to rise in her great book ‘Dare to Lead’  she says:

“The three most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our lovability, divinity, and creativity.

The reality check around our lovability: Just because someone isn’t willing or able to love us, it doesn’t mean that we are unlovable.

The reality check around our divinity: No person is ordained to judge our divinity or to write the story of our spiritual worthiness.

The reality check around our creativity: Just because we didn’t measure up to some standard of achievement doesn’t mean that we don’t possess gifts and talents that only we can bring to the world. And just because someone failed to see the value in what we can create or achieve doesn’t change its worth or ours.“

We don’t need to tell ourselves any stories, the truth is we are worthy and lovable…no conditions.