If you can’t stand the heat…

I grew up with phrases like ‘if you can’t stand the heat get out the kitchen’, thanks to tough guys like Harry Truman who coined the phrase.

A macho bullshit line to basically say toughen up or you’re a loser if you can’t take the ‘heat’.

But being ‘tough’ is not the answer in some ‘put up with everything’ type environment allowing people to treat others badly. There is nothing clever, smart or tough about treating people like shit. It is just shit.

We will not ever be able to build an empathetic and people focused culture unless we move away from this being ‘tough’ mentality. It is about as appropriate to the world, as say, a steam powered loom would be now.

Getting the best from people comes from understanding not from ‘toughening’ them up and trampling all over their emotions and needs.

We do not need to subject people to ‘heat’. We need to create a safe, non-judgemental environment that inspires, supports and cares about them, allowing them to be vulnerable and open.

A deeper life


Superficial likes.

Manipulation.

Cheating.

Judgment.

Trolling.

Bullying.

Hate.

Racism.

Meanness to others.

Shallowness, because we want to fit in, to be popular, to be in the crowd. This behaviour has to be learned.

We can choose as a human race to teach ourselves to live a deeper, richer life. To unlearn the mean society we have collectively created and allowed.

We could choose to be kind, be compassionate, be giving, be empathetic and be loving.

Think, say and do only good things.

After all, none of us like to be on the receiving end of shallow self-centred behaviour.

We can all choose to be strong and be the change we want to see.

Don’t fit in.

It takes courage but the world needs all of us to be part of the change, to do our bit.

We don’t have to be fearful of setting boundaries, being the person we really are, having the courage to be different. If we are brave and be ourselves, then the right people will be attracted to us and it will inspire others to follow.

No good waiting for others and no good being shallow just to fit in.

Who’s in for living a deeper life?