Tag: true

Be honest

Posted on by philipdodson

When we are honest in our relationships we stop the other person from having to wonder. When we withhold the truth and we conceal our true feelings and thoughts, the other person will sense something and because they do not know the truth, they will fill in the blanks. Our mind has to have the answer, the beginning, middle and end. When it does not, it fills in the blank and always in a bad way.

If we share our truth with others we free them from the suffering of not knowing and it enables us to truly connect in a very deep way that is not possible when we put up our shields to hide the truth from others.

Being honest with others stops us either building up and resenting others, which usually leads to an explosive outburst and hurt for all, or we say nothing and suffer because we did not speak our truth and we did not respect ourselves.

The only ingredients that we must not leave out ever from speaking our truth are kindness and empathy towards the recipient of our truth. If we leave them out we will only hurt and damage our relationships.

Assumptions

Posted on by philipdodson

When we assume what others are thinking without knowing we make judgements and take action based on that evaluation. Often, without the faintest idea, we say ‘I know what they are thinking’. This is based on nothing but our prejudices.

We often stay in that mode even when we do ask them, as we are only seeing them through the filter of our own lens of judgement.

We have already decided what they will say as we want it to match our assumptions. Then we can say ‘see, I knew that’s what they were thinking/meaning/saying…I am right’.

True listening means without any evaluation, all we do is simply hear the words of the other. This is the only form of listening. It is only possible when we do not make up stories about others based on assumptions our mind has made to fit in with the story we hold about them.

It’s best not to create stories about others or ourselves either. It is best to hear and see people as they are and not as our mind wants us to see them. It changes communication completely when we see and understand the other person as they truly are.