Tag: solving

Advice?

Posted on by philipdodson

If we come to someone and ask advice, and then do not take it because we don’t like the answer, it’s often because we wanted approval and not advice.

We can, of course, gain from advice, books, podcasts, coaching, courses if we are stuck, but most often we are looking for approval or validation rather than advice or a way of putting off taking the action we already know will solve the problem.

However, if we only consume them and never actually try them or act upon them faithfully then we won’t advance, we will stay stuck in our perceived problem.

Every challenge in life has a solution and we need to be responsible for being a path finder and not being a person who only wants instructions that we don’t follow because we either don’t really have a challenge, other than what the mind has invented, or we actually are too fearful to find a solution to it.

We have the answer, but we seek approval from others for our proposed solution under the smokescreen of advice.

So many people seek advice and then never act on it.

Unsolicited advice is never well received or useful, it is actually the advisors ego and their own stories that causes them to vent under the disguise of advising.

We never like being told when all we wanted was to be listened too. We didn’t ask for the opinion but the other person’s ego and autobiographical perspective caused them to offer ‘advice’ which really translates to ‘look at me I know’ behaviour. It’s not genuine heartfelt care, it’s actually about them and not you.

If we seek advice and don’t use it that’s ok too, we do not have to agree with the adviser. But when we seek advice and don’t like the answer, that’s not the fault of the adviser.

We all need help at times and we all need advice and as long as that is what you are seeking and not looking for approval, then advice is a good option when we are stuck on our path-finding mission.

Advice works when we are truthful with ourselves as that is what we really want.

There is always a solution

Posted on by philipdodson

We face many challenges in our lives.

All of which have a solution.

The bigger challenge is learning how to react to challenges.

Often, we allow even minor setbacks to take ‘the wind out of our sails’. We focus on the injustice, or the hurt, the problem, the way in which we can get revenge or not accept it.

Instead, if we focus all our energies on the solution, the world looks completely different.

We are not victims, we are not unlucky, we haven’t been dealt a bad hand. We make all the choices, so what comes our way is a result of those choices and the things that we can not control will happen regardless of what we do.

Sure initially we will all react to a setback, but after that initial reaction, there is a choice to blame others, to be a victim or there is the choice of what is the solution? How can I make things better? What opportunity will come from this challenge? What can I learn? What did I do right and what can I do even better next time?

Questions lead to solutions and it is a choice.

There is always a solution and it is not found in blame, victimhood, or dwelling on the problem.