Tag: assumptions

Filters

Posted on by philipdodson

When we make assumptions about situations or people, we create filters that block us from seeing situations and people in any other way than the filter we created about them.

This only then reinforces these falsehoods that we have created based on absolutely nothing other than our mind’s fantasies. The mind likes to have the beginning, middle and end of everything and when it only has bits of the story it fills in the gaps. However, it never fills the gaps with positive thoughts and assumptions, only fear-based negative assumptions.

The better option is to be curious and ask people what they mean or feel. Observe situations and resist the temptation to make judgements. Don’t fill in the blanks and stop the suffering. This removes the filters and then we can see situations and people as they are not as we have believed them to be.

Assumptions

Posted on by philipdodson

When we assume what others are thinking without knowing we make judgements and take action based on that evaluation. Often, without the faintest idea, we say ‘I know what they are thinking’. This is based on nothing but our prejudices.

We often stay in that mode even when we do ask them, as we are only seeing them through the filter of our own lens of judgement.

We have already decided what they will say as we want it to match our assumptions. Then we can say ‘see, I knew that’s what they were thinking/meaning/saying…I am right’.

True listening means without any evaluation, all we do is simply hear the words of the other. This is the only form of listening. It is only possible when we do not make up stories about others based on assumptions our mind has made to fit in with the story we hold about them.

It’s best not to create stories about others or ourselves either. It is best to hear and see people as they are and not as our mind wants us to see them. It changes communication completely when we see and understand the other person as they truly are.