Tag: emotions

Victim and/or punisher

Posted on by philipdodson

When we’ve been hurt by someone else’s behaviour or words, often the mind plays up and decides that our ego has been bruised, the self-image tainted, we feel that we need to enact vengeance, to get revenge, to punish or the opposite, play the victim and seek attention and feel sorry for ourselves. In most cases, there is a bit of both punishment and victimhood.

These games that we play serve no purpose at all, other than to perpetuate the victim/punisher role that is played out in the mind and continue our own internal pain. It is damaging not only to ourselves in terms of the suffering we unduly cause inside, it is also damaging to the people we inflict our victim/punisher behaviour on. It is not for us to judge and punish other people’s choices of behaviour.

If we stay conscious, if we allow the reaction to just be, if we choose not to be internally bothered by others and if we choose to just simply observe our ego and thoughts, then we stay calm, at peace and do not react out of fear and its other emotions.

That does not mean we have to outwardly accept others and their choice of behaviour, it simply means inner surrender and acceptance to what is, to accepting others as they are and to not allow suffering within from our ego’s desire to be a victim or a punisher of others.

Denying what is

Posted on by philipdodson

Accepting what is sounds easy, but we are conditioned to want a different outcome to anything we do not like.

Our ego does not want to see or hear anything that doesn’t fit the story or if it feels like we are to blame.

The culture of blaming comes from the individual and collective egos and there wish not to be at fault.

If we can remove our ego from the situation, not look for blame, if we can silence our mind and its negative thoughts, then we can find accepting what has happened, and realising that what is, is always what is. It has already happened and wanting a different moment is, of course, completely futile.

Once we can get to the stage of accepting that everything that has occurred, has occurred, and we can not alter it, then we can focus on now and moving on, letting go and looking at how to deal with the reality of now.

Resisting creates fear that then leads to other emotions, pain and suffering. Inner peace is never achievable all the time we deny this present moment.

Letting go brings peace within and then we react from our true essence to things, from our soul, rather than from the mind, its ego and fears. We avoid becoming our emotions and reactions.

Everything is, as it is always, move on and enjoy now with peace within.