When we become the reaction, we lose control, we become the ego, the mind, the emotion and nothing goes well.
However, not being the reaction means undoing a lifetime of conditioning, it means stepping away from the mind, it means being different and it requires consciousness. Not easy.
We all need to learn patience with ourselves and others, becoming the real you and me takes time.
There is always someone who will alleviate your pain, tell you the answer, give you advice and so on.
The challenge is, no matter what advice you buy or get for free, only you can make the change.
The other thing far deeper than the mind and societal obsession with change, there really is nothing to change, as the real you, beyond the mind, never needs changing.
If we are genuinely us, then there is nothing to change.