Tag: other people

Keeping change going is tough

Posted on by philipdodson

The road to change is a long one and a challenging one at times.

The challenge is, you have to deal with realisations that the person you once were, or still sometimes are, wasn’t always the person that you are proud of. Made choices, that you now see as bad ones.

On the road to change, you have to accept that you were wrong in the past. It takes courage to accept that you were wrong or your choices were bad.

The easy route is to carry on believing that it’s others who were wrong, that you do not need to change.

We are all human, so there is no judgement if we slip occasionally, if we are not perfect. The thing is, if we extend that kindness to ourselves, which we could choose to do, we could also choose to extend that kindness to others, as they are human too.

Fixing others that aren’t broken

Posted on by philipdodson

Often in life, especially with people who matter to me, I have wanted, with good intention, to help them and to fix them. If I saw them doing something that I had learnt painfully was a mistake then I so wanted to save them from that pain.

What I have now learnt is people are not broken and they didn’t need fixing, it was me who needed to adjust my perspective, as they weren’t me, I was stuck in autobiographical mode, what mattered to me.

Also, I am now learning to focus on me, not that I am broken and need fixing either, but if I work on being a role model, being inspirational, being a leader, being true to myself, then perhaps if someone does want to change something and then they may see something that I do or have done that might help inspire them.

The whole thing is ratcheted up to a much higher level of desire to fix and help when it is your own children, but here it is even more essential that I am a good role model rather than a fixer of things that are not broken.

Of course, like everything, it is a work in progress for me and learning to let things be is hard, but so worth it.