Tag: other people

It’s inside

Posted on by philipdodson

Of course, we can look outside, but change and accountability come from within.

There are no other factors in whatever happens in our lives other than how we choose to react and what actions we choose.

The only element that is consistent in every single second of our entire journeys is us, we are there for every moment of our lives.

What we do is all that matters as we can not control anything or anyone else.

The more we accept and the more we let go, the easier it is to show up, the easier it is to give ourselves permission to be us. True belonging comes we when we are prepared, as Brene Brown beautifully says, to brave the wilderness that comes when we are truly ourselves 100% without fear. Belonging isn’t doing the easy thing and fitting in. It isn’t looking to others for change.

As always, this a journey, a work in progress and something that takes often a lifetime to obtain, but that’s ok because it’s about small steps to getting even better and staying a learner, not judging our own failings. Kindness to ourselves is a massive step.

It is inside us all, it’s a freedom what we choose to do.

Victim or punisher

Posted on by philipdodson

I’ve been both at times. In fact, everyone of us has dabbled at victimhood and punisher. Actually, many seem to switch between the two.

This behaviour keeps us stuck, stuck with judgemental lens on, not necessarily of just other people but more often of ourselves. It keeps fuelling that victim feeling and need to punish others.

It also keeps us from any self-awareness and stops us being truly accountable for our own behaviour.

The only way to stop this cycle is to accept responsibility for what we do, take off the judgemental lens and replace with a lens where the aim is to learn how we can understand others even better and how we can think differently to lead to a different outcome.

The same thinking and behaviour always gets the same results. If we want to move out the pit of victimhood and stop punishing ourselves and others then we have to focus on learning and accountability.