Tag: other people

Going back to the same pain

Posted on by philipdodson

When we realise that relationships with others are toxic for us there is always a period where we keep going back for the same pain because of fear of the other person’s reaction.

We want to see the best in others especially friends and even more so family, which is good.

We do not want to admit to ourselves that time spent with them always leaves us feeling bad afterwards.

We perhaps blame ourselves or say ‘I need to be more patient’ or ‘I need to be more understanding’.

However, there comes a point, when we’ve set boundaries, explained to the other person how they make us feel, when patience and understanding will only lead to the pain continuing.

We have to let go and step away and respect ourselves. Simply by doing this it allows the pain the other person causes to subside, it often gives the other person time for reflection and hopefully change.

Ultimately we have to care for and respect ourselves.

Don’t keep going back for more pain for the sake of the other person. We do not need to accept toxic people.

Recovery is a personal journey

Posted on by philipdodson

Recovery from anything is a long road and one that needs to be taken at our own pace.

Well-intentioned advice from others is all well and good, but it is personal to us all and we need to feel in control.

There is no set pattern, no blueprint to follow, even if it is recovery from illness or physical injury, it is still the head and mind that needs to recover as well.

The same with depression and mental illness, it is at our own pace and the more people allow us to recover at our pace through empathetic support rather than autobiographical stories of how they did it or how others did it the better we feel.

We all feel vulnerable when we’ve been physically or mentally ill, we need to be listened to and understood, we need help when we ask for it and we need our time to get well.

The more we understand this the better we can be equipped to support others as often we all need someone to listen rather than fix.