I’m right

There are no winners in arguments. Two egos, or more sometimes, clash and it becomes like a fight, the mind sees it the same as a real physical threat and it will defend at all costs.

If your ego wins, sadly everyone loses, because every argument destroys a little bit in friendships and relationships.

If we stay away from our minds and ego, then we do not argue, as there is no point. It is so irrelevant to be right and in our conscious state, we can see the insanity of arguing.

Arguing is for the mind, not the soul.

Going back to the same pain

When we realise that relationships with others are toxic for us there is always a period where we keep going back for the same pain because of fear of the other person’s reaction.

We want to see the best in others especially friends and even more so family, which is good.

We do not want to admit to ourselves that time spent with them always leaves us feeling bad afterwards.

We perhaps blame ourselves or say ‘I need to be more patient’ or ‘I need to be more understanding’.

However, there comes a point, when we’ve set boundaries, explained to the other person how they make us feel, when patience and understanding will only lead to the pain continuing.

We have to let go and step away and respect ourselves. Simply by doing this it allows the pain the other person causes to subside, it often gives the other person time for reflection and hopefully change.

Ultimately we have to care for and respect ourselves.

Don’t keep going back for more pain for the sake of the other person. We do not need to accept toxic people.