Tag: behaviour

Other person’s shoes

Posted on by philipdodson

When someone is angry, or rude, or frustrated or she/he behaves in a way that is not their normal way of behaving, instead of reacting the same towards them, perhaps we we could choose to seek to understand.

What is happening in the other person’s mind that is causing them to lash out, to react?

We always want to judge first, to see how that person’s behaviour affects our little story, our ego always wants to personalise it, to see it in terms of how does this affect me?

If we all choose to empathise, understand and be compassionate first, then we could all suffer less.

We could all learn to walk in the other person’s shoes and show kindness.

You are a lair

Posted on by philipdodson

If we label someone, we are branding them, we are damning them to a role or story that gives them not just shame but little room for change. It’s easy though as the mind needs to box everyone up, so it can instantly compare and judge them with ourselves and others.

If we say ‘you are a liar’ it is very different to saying ‘you made a wrong choice to tell a lie’. The second option does not judge them or label them as a liar, it is just us voicing our view of their choice.

Our society is driven by our mind and the collective mind’s need to label and blame others. It is a way of us being superior.

We may choose to offer a view of another person’s decision or choice but to label and judge is not for us to decide. No one is a liar, or unkind or hateful or whatever the label…they just make choices at that moment some we may see as good and some as bad, but that is subjective and depends on perspective.

If we accept others as they are and choose not to judge, that still leaves us a place to comment on their choice of behaviour towards us, without us suffering within from their behaviour, and it comes from a place of not judging them as a person. This allows the other person to be free from shame and labelling.