Tag: Habits

Resilience is about flexibility

Posted on by philipdodson

Building a habit is hard if the rules are so strict and so rigid that there is no room for a slip.

We make the rules for our own life inside our head. We are the ones who make ourselves feel guilty or useless for not doing something. We are the ones who decide.

If we are following a particular diet, or workout, or productivity routine, then we are the ones who set the rules and if we break them, we are the ones who choose to punish ourselves or not.

The thing is, whatever you do in life, there are no rules if you decide, other than the ones we impose upon ourselves. So if we have been doing something every single day for months and then we forget one day, it simply doesn’t matter unless we make it so.

The reality is, it is easier to build and maintain a habit for life if we allow ourselves the odd slip without the need to punish or feel bad. If there is only rigidity in anything, then it breaks, it becomes negative and resistance builds.

Resilience is about flexibility, being able to bend gives us the ability to spring back from a slip or setback. It is positive as we feel we can bend, there is no pressure.

Planning and how it is counter-productive

Posted on by philipdodson

Planning has its place, however, when planning becomes the focus, the doing becomes second place. Often, the doing never gets done, as the planning obsession creates the psychological fear that always sabotages action.

Planning is by the very nature a mind-construct of the fiction that is the future, a thought in our head. The future always creates uncertainty, as it is not now, not real and not known. So when we focus on it all the time then it sabotages.

When we get sucked into the planning, it actual becomes a diversion, an excuse, a get-out from the doing. This because excessive thinking has created doubt and anxiety.

The joy of doing something in this moment, the only time we can do anything, then builds the habit of wanting to do more. Whereas planning does the opposite, it creates thought, which creates hesitancy, which then creates further thought and so the cycle continues.

A quick plan, and then back to the present moment, and do it now. Anything more is counter-productive.