The biggest kick in the teeth about change is people, who have known you for long enough and before you changed, still react to you as if you were still that person before you learnt, adapted and changed yourself.
It’s totally understandable, and not that there ever needs to be blame, it is not their fault. You may have behaved a certain way for a long time and that is what people expect from you.
The things is, I need to be patient more patient and understanding with others when they do this to me. I need to realise that everyone rightly has their own pace of change and learning, and in fact who am I even to suggest that others need to change anyway? I am better off focusing on what I’m up to, as that’s the only thing that concerns me.
The only way to show that you have changed how you behave to others is not by words,and if you have behaved in way that you now recognise was wrong, then it is actions over time and repeating the changed behaviour long enough so that the people who matter, that we may have hurt previously can see that you have really changed.
I have previously thought, almost like buying a bunch of flowers, you can just simply make up for wrong choices of behaviour. It takes time, like everything, to demonstrate to people you are different. It means accepting having a kick in the teeth now and again, as I was the one who needed to change.
Just off now to adjust my gum shield.
Philip Dodson 