Often in life, especially with people who matter to me, I have wanted, with good intention, to help them and to fix them. If I saw them doing something that I had learnt painfully was a mistake then I so wanted to save them from that pain.
What I have now learnt is people are not broken and they didn’t need fixing, it was me who needed to adjust my perspective, as they weren’t me, I was stuck in autobiographical mode, what mattered to me.
Also, I am now learning to focus on me, not that I am broken and need fixing either, but if I work on being a role model, being inspirational, being a leader, being true to myself, then perhaps if someone does want to change something and then they may see something that I do or have done that might help inspire them.
The whole thing is ratcheted up to a much higher level of desire to fix and help when it is your own children, but here it is even more essential that I am a good role model rather than a fixer of things that are not broken.
Of course, like everything, it is a work in progress for me and learning to let things be is hard, but so worth it.
Philip Dodson 